Junk Bonds

Today, Barry Bonds told Sports Illustrated that he doubts his body will be able to let him reach Hank Aaron's record of 755 homeruns. Many dismiss this as simple posturing, a political move to take the heat and pressure off of the steroids popping hitter and let him coast to the feat. It is a very smart ploy, get everyone going one way using the suckers at the media and set up a smoke screen so that you can fly under the radar.

I however believe that this is another ploy, a fabrication by another name but not for the purposes of flying under the radar of the media and get some privacy and normalcy back into his life. I think that this is a ploy to excuse what will shortly be the nightly Sports Center fare.

As we have seen with the corruption in Washington, the same mirrors itself on baseball's stage. Barry Bonds is planting doubt in the minds of the media and his fans because he is probably coming to the realization that his goose if cooked, and the federal grand jury that was convened a couple of weeks ago to pursue a perjury charge has the goods on him. As is the case with ex Vice-Presidential Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby and his perjury charge for lying to investigators in the outing of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame, Bonds himself is more than likely planning his exit strategy by stirring speculation that his body is unable to withstand the coming season.

It's a classic move, quit with your dignity so that the cameras don't film you being led out of the Oval Office in handcuffs, or in Barry's case, his entire back wall section of the Giants' clubhouse, where he sits all by himself with his leather LAZBOYS and plasma television. There is no confirmation on the big guy wearing the black t-shirt underneath the black suit and the ear piece, however. This move will be to spare the "intelligent and educated" San Francisco baseball fans the image of Barry being perp walked out of Willie Mays Plaza by our nation's finest. And you better believe Bud Selig is thinking the same thing as well.

Dissecting Intelligence

According to several sources, there are boxes full of evidence seized in the Balco raid that probably lists drugs and dosages for Barry Bonds. Greg Anderson, the indicted former personal trainer and drug dealer of Bonds, has been called to the stand and is probably spilling his guts to save himself from serious time in federal prison. Kimberly Bell, Bonds' former mistress has been also called by the grand jury to testify on her knowledge of Bonds' drug use. With the mountains of evidence piling up, it has become increasingly clearer that Bonds' number may be up and he is going to have to face the music.

Not surprisingly, Bonds is in trouble because he is an arrogant narcissist that thought that he was better then the people investigating him. He probably thought that he was smarter then everybody and he thought that no one would know the difference when he told his lies at the Balco grand jury. Guess what Barry, just because you can hit the ball farther then the feds, doesn't mean you can out think them. How big of a fool do you have to be to lie in a grand jury when you have been given full IMMUNITY? Also, that testimony is secret for a reason, so that people can get the truth without the media outing the names of material witnesses. Imaging our legal system if we didn't have this concept. No mobster, gang member, or serial killer would ever be put away because people would be too scared to testify. Barry had no reason to lie, other then to further feed his own inflated ego that is somewhere around the size of his large head.

The scenario will play itself out like this. Bonds will more likely then not play until the end of May, when the grand jury is ready to wrap up, and then end up on the 15-day DL with a "muscle strain" or "knee swelling" or something. Then, if the Giants are in contention, he will probably come back before the end of the season and play sparingly down the stretch. If the Giants are out of contention, then he will sit out the remainder of the year on the 60-day DL. All the while, Bonds will not be on the mend, rather he and his team of lawyers will be planning the best way to defend themselves from the federal prosecutors and the mountains of evidence that will be presented in a trial. We will be privy to "leaks" that will further shape the court of public opinion, as we will start hearing about all the "new revelations" of Bonds and his drug use, tax evation, and alleged murder threat of Bell. All this will lead to news of a trial date set, sometime in 2007, coming the week following the World Series. You don't want to taint the image of the game even more then you have too. However, the trial will never come; Bonds will cop a plea to something and then, with an agreement between the team of lawyers for Bonds and Major League Baseball, he will go away. I'll put a Taylor's steak dinner on it right now if you don't believe me.