Defeat From Victory

Like several things in life, the actions of today may not come back to bite you in the ass until several years later. It is true when it is said that the displacement of wind by a butterfly in Indonesia will lead to a hurricane in the North American atlantic. That moment struck last Saturday, as the number 2 ranked USC Trojans surprisingly lost the unranked UCLA Bruins. Now knowing me, yeah I root for the fellas, however that doesn't stop me from being objective. I stated as early as April that this Trojan team was losing a lot and that all the controversy surrounding the program would lead to a tough season. Regardless, what transpired Saturday on the grounds of the Rose Bowl did more to damage the Bruins in the long run.

"What the hell are you talking about Gaffer? We won the freakin game, score board, in your face, suck on that!" Sure, on the surface that is the gut reaction reaction to the above statement. But consider this for a moment Bruin fan. All indications pointed to the fact that the Bruins were looking to get rid of the very mediocre and often over matched Karl Dorrell in favor of bringing in a class coaching name like Steve Mariucci. Yes, that Steve Mariucci, the guy who made a very average Jeff Garcia and the San Francisco 49ers into perrenial playoff contenders. The same Mooch that came to mentor Brett Favre and made him into one of the better quarterbacks in the league before he started to turn into the interception machine he is now. Yes, that Steve Mariucci, who dispite having a losing record at the Detroit Lions, still got the team to some level of respectability had Matt Millen actually known what he was doing. Yes, that very same, good looking NFL coach, was being rumored to be interested in the UCLA job had Dan Guerrero come knocking. With the win on Saturday all that changes.

It all changes because now Karl Dorrell has that "signature victory," the kind that most coaches get when they are able to finally cross over into the somewhat respectable class. Carroll had his in 2003, when his two loss Trojan team trounced the Iowa Hawkeyes at the Orange Bowl to mark the beginning of the latest SC dynasty. For some coaches the wait takes several years in developing. Mack Brown didn't have his until last year, when his Texas team was finally able to overcome Oklahoma while winning a critical game at the Horseshoe in Columbus. And for others, the wait continues. Take Charlie Weis for instance, he is still searching for his "signature victory" as Lloyd Carr, Jim Tressel, and Pete Carroll still have his number. Dorrell, for all intents and purposes, had his, as much as a gift that it was from Lane Kiffen and Steve Sarkisian, two offensive coordinators that could not figure the complex zone packages that DeWayne Walker was able to use. Yes, Dorrell's "signature win" is in every bit owed to the hard work of Walker.

So, this leaves Dan Guerrero at a crossroads. With Mooch days away from being named the new Bruin head coach after another UCLA loss to the Trojans, the unthinkable happened. Blame Eric McNeal. Had that interception in the 4th hit the ground, or at least been ruled to have hit the ground, as it did, then the Bruins would have fired Dorrell the very next day and no one would have been the wiser. They would have even gotten away with it without much uproar by the media and the NAACP because all they had to do was say he didn't take the program to a big time bowl, and never beat his cross town rivals. Instead, the interception was made, and with it Dorrell's career as a head coach. He is untouchable.

So again, what good does the win bring with it? Well the Bruins are still going to a no name pre-New Year Bowl game to play a very mediocre Florida State team. They go into another season with no real passing game and no big time runners in the back field. They also lose a major portion of the defensive unit that helped stop the vaunted Trojan offense. They also get to keep their lack luster coach, who will get another shot at a sub par season due to his "signature win." Mooch gets to look at other options, most likely Arizona State, where the future is in place in the form of All CIF quarterback Rudy Carpenter who grew on the job at A-State after Sam Keller left for Nebraska. Pete Carroll is Pete Carroll. All he will do is reload and look forward to next year's game at the Coli with what seems to be a Heisman candidate in JD Booty.

So again, what does the win bring? It's like the Dodgers sweeping a weekend set in the Bay only to get swept in the first round of the playoff or the Lakers putting in a great season only to make an early exit from the show. It is all for not. Not because the win doesn't mean anything, sure revel in the fact that you beat a number 2 team in the country, however your coach, your cancer, stays in place with very little that can be done to correct the situation. Just sit back and hope that Dorrell doesn't turn in another 6 or 7 win season and leads the team to another pre-New Year, no name bowl game.

Of course when pressed, Guerrero backed off the rumors that the calls were made to Mooch, what else is he going to say? It was really interesting that Guerrero was quick to attack the line of questioning posed by beat writers, yet he never actually denied the reports on their merit. All this, I'm sure will be talked about as the Bruins embark for their Emerald Bowl appearance that is given to the PAC 10 number 4 or 5 team.

So sure, soak up the victory, fly your flag high and wear your colors proudly Bruin fan, your mediocre season is a success with this latest victory. However think about the fact that in this era of big time football, your program is still without an appearance in a New Year Bowl game since 1999, and have not won a New Year Bowl since 1986. That's a pretty long time, but hey, 2005 Sun Bowl Champions is a major achievement.

So Much For All That Luck

As the sun set on the Fighting Catholics of Notre Dame Saturday night, I was shocked by how easy the USC defense made Brady Quinn look like a very average ball player. This among with other observations as I recap my trip to the Coli, fanfare included (in honor of Petros Papadakis.)

Observation #1 -- Charlie Weiss is a really fat guy.
I'm not the picture of athelticism, however it is pretty clear that Charlie Weiss perfected his craft on the cyber fields of Madden video games and not actually playing on the field. Charlie simply does not have an athletic bone in his heavy frame, one that had slimmed down after getting his stomach stapled. I guess that's why there are no money back guarantees with those surgeries. In any case, Charlie opted for the XXL tent look last night, a good choice considering that any real pants seem to accentute his frontal ass further. The hoodie and wind breaker pants made Charlie look like a pregnant Rosanne Barr and I am sure the constant nylone mesh material sound that you get when you walk in that material could be hard all the way in the parking lots near Deadaux field. I am sure that he wanted to look spry, young, and carefree, especially lining up opposite one of the most fit guys in the NCAA in Pete Carroll, however the look only accomplished the furthering of an already known fact, that Charlie asks his players to do way more then he has every done. John L. Smith was correct on that point, one of the few things he was right about while at Michigan State.

Observation #2 -- Dr. Quinn overhyped quarterback man.
This year's Heisman Trophy award ceremony will be a showcase of Troy Smith from Ohio State and a collection of other, mainly headlined by the overhyped Brady Quinn. With tall hopes on the doorstep of Quinn, Notre Doter set out to conquer the land with their "explosive" offensive attack. Thirty five touchdowns later, sure they can be thought of accomplishing some of that. However padding the stats against Army, Navy, and the Air Force academy doesn't exactly prep you for the bone jarring sticks delivered by a top 5 team. I am sure that the group of football playing marines in the movie Jarhead, highlighted by Lucas Black and Jake Gyllenhaal, where not available or they would have been on the schedule as well for the Domers. And this was the guy who was the consenses preseason pick for the trophy? Was Beano Cook doing the lobbying and polling for his campaign? When I got home I watched the recorded broadcast and cringed at how the booth, manned by Brent 'Mushmouth' Musberger, tried to compare Joe Montana with Brady Quinn. To me, and most of the other 92 thousand at the Coli, Quinn was more Ron Pawlus then Montana. But hey, at least Pawlus beat SC a couple of times, all Brady did was go 0 for 4.

Observation #3 -- Tyrone Willingham was a pretty good recruiter afterall.
I love the spin ABC used on their telecast to try and paint Charlie Weis as a hell of a coach and a hell of a recruiter. The team on the field on Saturday, and for the season, was put together by Tyrone Willingham, current Washington head coach, and guy who got fired after losing a bowl game, much like fat Weis did last season. But hey, Weis rode Bill Parcell's and Bill Belichek's coat tails, so he must be pretty good, right? Next season will be the true test, as we get to see what Weis' recruiting chops are like and how he can build a team that will, and here I go going out on a limb again, will win maybe 7 games and visit the lovely San Antonio in their pre new year bowl game. Even with Jimmy Clausen, another guy padding stats in a do nothing CIF league, the Catholics will have a hard time duplicating the success of the past two season, and should look forward to further lop sided results against USC, Michigan, and Ohio State. As for Willingham, I'm not going to say that the reason he didn't get that 10 year extension like Weis did after essentially having identical records after their first year was because of his skin color, no this stand offish demeanor probably did him in, although I am sure the skin issue did play some part. However I will say that had he been given the chance to coach out his recruits, this season would have essentially been the same results. Less we want to forget all about that "incredible emotional toughness" that Weis brings to the Irish, that according to the turn coat Benedict Arnold in Pat Hayden at NBC. Yeah, you have to have a lot of tougness to stay away from the post game spread for the full 3 and half hours a game lasts. Going out on a limb, don't be surprised to see Weis jump ship and take an NFL job in the next season, the prospects of losing to Michigan and USC again with young talent and another couple of seasons with no chance of winning a national championship will make the honeymoon short for Weis.

Observation #4 -- John David Booty is the preseason favorite for the Heisman.
John David threw three touchdowns, took a nap for a quarter, then picked up where he left off. Had he not given in to the boredom that he was showing against the Domer defense, perhaps the score would have been 50 or 60 points and not the 44 that the Trojans put up. John David looked like a quarterback should, composed and confident in the pocket unlike his opposite number in Quinn and that other spas Nate Longshore up at Cal. John David moved the team down the field with ease exposing the Catholic secondary who had gotten accustomed to slow recievers and option quarterbacks. I only hope that Mark Sanchez can stay out of trouble for another season because for this season and next, John David is every much what Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart were, and that is saying a whole lot considering those where were Heisman Trophy winners, first round draft picks, and all around pimps on the field. There is no other quarterback right now that looks to come back with the weapons and the experience and again, that Nate Longshore idiot is no match for the complex pro style offense that Pete Caroll runs.

Observation # 5 -- The Coli is a pretty bad place to watch a game.
Yeah you get the 92 thousand, big boy football feel to the game, but the toilets are backed up, the food overpriced, and when it takes longer to drive to the game then the actual game time itself, it's a pretty bad deal. I am eased by the illegal driving that I had to pull off just to get us into a position to run to the gate, however overall, the experience was saved by the buzz in the stadium and the ass waxing on the field. Now if the higher ups can come through with BCS tickets, then that would be something else all together.

Slaving Over The Hot Stove

With the latest passing of J.D. Drew's career in right field at the Ravine, and the signing of fan favorite Nomar Garciaparra and lead off man Juan Pierre, the Dodgers are still shy the two things that haunted them last year, a power bat and a legitimate set up man. With the prospective loss of closer Sammy Saito, the Dodgers' game of pickle may come to and end real soon.

I was a fan of J.D Drew as far as the number 7 in blue was roaming the outfield, now I could care less about that greedy bastard that took the first out in his contract to get out of dodge. It never ceases to amaze me what he will do for a buck. In any case, the situation is what it is and the Dodgers will have to do something pretty dramatic to replace his aloof attitude in the club house and muscled up home run numbers, 20 last season. Carlos Lee is out of the picture, already told Ned that he doesn't want to play on the west coast, and the prospects of Barry Bonds wearing the blue is as revolting as a Rosanne Barr centerfold spread. We may be in for a long season.

There is hope on the horizon, Jayson Werth has indicated that he is 100% pain free and is planning a return to the club for the opening of spring training '07. That's good news for a guy who hasn't played an inning of baseball since 2004. He poses a great alternative to the short tempered Drew who really did not do much to win the "most inspirational award" at the stadium. That said, we will be lucky to get anywhere near Drew numbers in 2007. Manny Ramirez is doing his yearly song and dance about being traded, and if you look at the situation it makes a bit of sense. If Drew signs with the Red Sox, a team that he has been linked with for the past week, then the Sox would be in line to lose a draft pick and a sandwich pick in 2007. Being the stat geek Sabremetric scholar that he is, I am sure Theo Epstein would want to preserve those picks to build up a depleated farm system. Hanley Ramirez anyone?

If the Red Sox and J.D. can keep it in their pants for a while longer, then the Dodgers could ultimately offer Drew arbitration, which in turns gives them negotiating rights with Drew for another 45 days or so. That would probably be enough time to structure a deal that would please Boston and in turn deliver the ManRam to the Ravine. Wait it gets better. Eric Gagne has also been courted by Boston, and the same deal may be big enough to compensate for the disporportionate salaries. Throw in a player to be named, and you got yourself a blockbuster that makes everyone happy and puts one of the best hitters in the league in left field.

Of course all this is speculation, and who knows what wicked turn the free agent and trade market will take, all I know is that Alfonso Soriano was out there and took a lot of money to join a team that only won 66 games last season, and by all indications will probably win 72 this season. Has the Dodgers wanted to deal, they could have probably matched the money to put him in Dodger blue.

Shut Up and Pitch!

In 2004, sports and politics danced a wickedly nasty tango as the ESPN trolling fan was not only subjected to Curt Shilling's thoughts on the Yankees, but his unwavering support of George W. Bush in the 2004 presidential election. Just what I need, another know-nothing athlete trying to sound intelligent on television.

Now, in the midst of one the most hotly contested midterm elections in recent memory, another know-nothing pitcher has decided to get into the act. Jeff Suppan, St. Louis Cardinal pitcher, appeared recently on a republican financed ad denouncing a Missouri State Constitutional Amendment proposal on the upcoming ballot that would call for increased funding for state stem cell research. Yes, the Crespi High grad and career flame out Jeff Suppan suddenly is under the impression that people actually care about what he thinks. Sure the ad also has 1-hit wonder, and starting quarterback on the God Squad, Kurt Warner denouncing the measure, as well as Jim Caviezel, you know that guy that was a crap actor and all of a sudden started walking and talking like Jesus Christ after that anti-semite/drunk's movie premiered. Yeah him, not to mention the broad from that stupid Raymond show.

All this "star power" for one reason, to denounce Michael J. Fox's support for the measure. Why Alex P. Keaton you ask, well he happens to live with a little condition, maybe you heard of it, it's called Parkinson's disease. Yes, his afflication which cause, among other symptoms, uncontrollable muscle movements and spasms is one disease that could be erradicated by conducting stem cell research to find new ways of fighting the disease. Yet, while he sits and dialogues about living with parkinson's on an ad supporting the measure and the democratic candidate, he is criticised by the likes of the drug riddled Rush Limbaugh who said yesterday on his radio program, "I think he [Michael J. Fox] was either off his meds or acting, he it exaggerating his Parkinson's." Gee, I knew Rush had an anal cyst that kept him from serving in Vietnam, however I wasn't aware he also had Parkinson's.

Why should I care? Well, file under the perpetually growing list of idiots in the public eye that love to talk without knowing the facts. One thing that probably escaped the Suppes' attention is that the ballot measure has nothing to do with a constitutional amendment for human cloning. Unfortunately, the radical religious right, or the Al-Qaeda of Christianity, has managed to make stem cells equal cloning. It is really sad to see a guy try to act informed, while looking like a complete jackass. Does he really think that a vote for the measure is going to create some human cloning farm somewhere in rural Missouri where people will be harvested for parts? If that's the case, then I am sure Suppan still believes he is an elite pitcher.

Now, the issue isn't whether you should support stem cell research, that's up the voter and their conscience. The issue is whether professional athletes should have the forum to talk about their views and use their celebrity to inform or mislead the public. People complain that "Liberal Hollywood" is a prime example of celbrity run-a-muck in the political process, but honestly, absent the occasion PSA on get out the vote, when have you ever seen any credible superstar artist actively campaining for the party line? George Clooney takes his cues from himself, and quite frankly I would imagine he and Sean Penn have both earned the right to say whatever they want. After all, how many of these blow hards like Shilling and Suppan have ever gotten on a boat and drugged through hurricane ravaged streets in New Orleans to rescue people from water filled homes like Penn, or traveled to the Sudan to see first hand the effects of genocide and been involved in world wide campaigns to end hunger and poverty like Clooney?

Furthermore, this game of discrediting celebrity was started by the very right wing of the political system that is funding this ad, and many other ads across the country that are misleading, deceptive, and in the case of Harold Ford Jr. in Tennessee, down right racist. When the Dixie Chicks said they were ashamed the President of the United States was from Texas at a concert in England, they were received in the United States with murder threats and Toby Keith types that told them to "shut up an sing." Hey, turn about is fair play in politics, right?

So again, the question remains, do we really need Suppan, Warner, and Shilling types driving home half truths and lies? The question is a flat out no. I've never seen Shills or Suppan spending the off season teaching Somalian children to read, or joining the USO to entertain the troops in Iraq. I have never heard of them ever assisting in the Katrina clean up or personally assisting schools meet no child left behind standards. All I have seen is them preach to the base and denounce the opposition party, and continue a narrative, or party line, that has seen the US build a 3 trillion dollar deficit, be bogged down in Iraq, and cover up pedophilia by GOP congressman.

So here is an open letter to these athletes that want to be involved in the political rhetoric:

Shut up and pitch. Do your job and leave politics out of sports. We look to you guys to take us away from the nightmare that is the real world, not to remind us of everyday crap. In the end, you only serve to fatten our pockets when we place a bet on you or assist us in getting wasted at a bar. We pay to watch you play, not to talk. Oh, and also, remember that the people that pay your salary, A.K.A the fans, are both democrats and republicans.

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At The End of The Day, Some People Just Don't Get It

Well into day 2 of the Kenny Rogers saga and the battlelines have been drawn. It seems that now Tony LaRussa has gotten an earful from Cardinal fan and has proclaimed that the foriegn substance on the gambler's hand was not dirt. Gee, what a revelation Tony.

Last night, Buster Olney, Senior ESPN Baseball Analyst, joined Doug Gotlieb and Jeff Rickert on ESPN Radio to break down game 2 and stated that Kenny is not alone when it comes to doctoring the ball. Apparently, the amount of pitchers that use some form of foreign substance is not as low as MLB would like you to believe. 'There have been several pitchers tell me that they have used silicon sprays to help them grip the ball,' proclaimed Olney. Seeing as how MLB actively took a major role in covering up steroids, this doesn't really surprise me much.

What does suprise me are the apologists that seem to miss the point of all this. Why should we care? Because the integrity of the sport is what keeps us tuning in and not to the WWE. Fans know that by tuning into a sporting event, the outcome has not been predetermined and that the odds of one team winning the game are an even 50/50 split. But hey, what's integrity when you have a multi-billion dollar operation, right?

It's always the same argument, 'it's only steroids, what's the big deal?' Or you get the, 'everyone is doing,' line. Then when congress gets involved, you get the genius that undoubtedly will break out with the gem, 'isn't there enough problems in the world that we need to concentrate on baseball?' Well, get this through your fat, uneducated heads, baseball is a business that reaps the operational rewards of holding anti-trust status, that means that it can manipulate its market as much as it wants without having to worry about the feds breaking up the business, and it can get around trickly consumer protection laws. 'Hey, let's charge these guys 10 dollars for a beer and 20 for parking!' Price-fixing anyone? This has given the league the oportunity to grow after several mismanaged labor disputes and gives them the leverage they needed to attract fans back to the game.

Seeing as how baseball does have this special status, I think that would make the league a bit of a public trust, because after all, US laws are protecting the product, and those laws are supported by US tax payers. At any rate, MLB's 'turn a blind eye' argument is a classic decievement if I have ever seen one, and the fact that they knowingly cover up infringments of the operating rules and down right criminal behavior, makes the league guilty of being a criminal enterprise. Hey, they took down the Gambino family that way, why not serve a R.I.C.O. warrant at Bud Selig's door.

So, this all leads us to the heart of the matter. Baseball is wrong in covering up this latest round of cheating. It's not a conspiracy theory, and quite frankly the conspiracy theorists is always the wacko nut job that trys to sell the ridiculous party line, get a clue you self absorbed maniac, everything isn't always about you so stop thinking everyone else lives in the same fictional world you created in your head. But I digress. It is a fact. Millions of eyes can't be wrong, and damnit, that looked pretty dark and shiny on my HDTV. That was pine tar, plain and simple.

So when the next guy comes around trying to sell you on the fact that it's no big deal, nothing to see, move along, stop and ask what his motives are. Tony LaRussa isn't saying much because he still wants to be on Jimmy Leyland's mailing list, and quite frankly, Leyland could probably kick his ass if he saw him out on the street. I think it goes further, however, and the possible exposing of all of MLB's little white lies is far too much for a sport with so many black eyes to deal with. From the players' union to the owners, to the umpire's union, the fact is that they are all single handidly playing a role in the defrauding of the fan, and the increasingly mess the league has become.

This post season, the story was Kenny, and now MLB is on the verge of losing that story line and needs to act quickly to keep the focus the positives of the game. The irony being that the more they try, the more they villify the very thing they were looking to exploit for their marketing purposes. But hey, now more people will tune in to watch with this new layer of drama. Subplots, got to love them.

Oh, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist, nor an 'expert' to understand that it was a bad call, the umpire got the ruling wrong, and isn't worth his salt. But, I wouldn't expect people who equate past amature experiences and fantasies with contemporary issues in hopes of drawing compelling parallels to understand that.

Blue Balls and Strikes

There seems to be some disagreement as to what happened last night during game 2 of the MLB World Series. As millions happen to be tuning into the broadcast, Fox Sports did an incredible job of showing what appeared to be pine tar or some other oil based product on the left thumb and palm of Kenny Rogers. Kenny says it was dirt and insists that he washed it off on his own accord without being notified by home plate umpire Alfonso Marquez of the substance and being asked to wash it off, contrary to what Jimmy Leyland and Umpire Supervisor Steve Palermo stated in the post game. Kenny apparently seems to be the only smart one of the bunch. See, if he admits to the talk, then he is admitting to breaking MLB rule 8.02, listed below. Marquez on the other hand shows the kind of baseball chops it takes to work in today's MLB, a league where the commissioner and his sycophants think they can shape the game to meet their own needs and desires. No wonder President Bush wants so desperately to work in baseball after his term is completed.

Marquez and the crew blew the call last night, plain and simple, and have put a nice cherry on top of the horrible job the umpires have done this post season. Whether it's them calling a foul ball fair, a fair ball foul, or progressively shrinking the strike zone in the later innings, the umpires have left their mark on this year's MLB postseason. It's a shame really, because the umpires are supposed to be the "FAIR" arrbitrators of the rules and not enforcers of some archane concept that seems to afflict anyone working in baseball. The fact is that, much like the US Constitution, baseball and its rules are a living thing and cannot be interpretted in the same manner it was 50 years ago. The days of racists and drunks running rampant in the game are long gone, and so should this overplayed concept of the umpires always being right and above reproach.

When people screw up in a "real" job, they usually get fired, the same should apply to guys who's job it is to not be the lead story in SportsCenter. And I don't want to hear the arguments made about it being a cold day and he just wanted to get a grip on the ball, it's all crap. The fact is that if you can't hack it up there using the talents you were given, they sit down and watch the game like the rest of us. John Kruk and his "analysis" only illustrate the furthered deconstruction of the game's integrity. "I would rather he [Rogers] load up the ball and get a better grip than hit me in the ear." Not quite there Krukster, if Rogers need a little extra to get the ball over the plate that isn't part of the rules then it's not a service to you or the batter, it's cheating, and apparently you are all for cheating.

Marquez, through Palermo, insists that he only asked Kenny to wash off the substance because the crew agreed it was dirt, the classic don't blame me, I'm only one part of a whole. Well that's a good defense but unfortunately not the case because he could have made the decisions to run Rogers.

Am I hating on all umps, of course not. I am sure that they go through great lenghts to get themselves into a position to call a World Series game. However I do take exceptions with guys that would rather not do their job and protect some story line then actually get the call right. If you have a crap strike zone in the first inning, then you should have the same crap strike zone in the ninth. I understand that it is a human element thing, however not enforcing the rules as they are stated in black and white is unacceptable and an illustration of the hubris these so-called independant arbitors posses. I mean, honestly, the umps are like pitchers in the American league, they get to be as dirty as they want and never have to answer for their mistakes. They go so far as to state that any disagreement over balls and strikes is an automatic ejection, a sign of truly inferior argument skills, or a sense of fear of actually having to defend their calls.

So why all the hub bub, well last night Kenny got away with murder, or the pitching equivilant thereto, and nobody seems to care about that. It's not that I am a fan of the Cardinals, Tony LaRussa was such as baseball man and genuine stand up guy that he let Jose Canseco and Mark McGuire inject themselves in the ass with anabolic steroids while at Oakland, however the game has suffered another black eye that nobody seems to care about because the MLB and the umpires union insist on maintaining this artificial blue line of conduct where everybody dismisses Kenny's actions. Truly disgracful but hey, the MLB let the steroid era go on to further ratings so why not a cheating pitcher as well, right?

Major League Baseball Rule 8.02

The pitcher shall not -- (a) (1) Bring his pitching hand in contact with his mouth or lips while in the 18 foot circle surrounding the pitching rubber. EXCEPTION: Provided it is agreed to by both managers, the umpire prior to the start of a game played in cold weather, may permit the pitcher to blow on his hand. PENALTY: For violation of this part of this rule the umpires shall immediately call a ball. However, if the pitch is made and a batter reaches first base on a hit, an error, a hit batsman or otherwise, and no other runner is put out before advancing at least one base, the play shall proceed without reference to the violation. Repeated offenders shall be subject to a fine by the league president.(2) expectorate on the ball, either hand or his glove;(3) rub the ball on his glove, person or clothing;(4) apply a foreign substance of any kind to the ball;(5) deface the ball in any manner; or(6) deliver a ball defaced in a manner prescribed by Rule 8.02(a)(2) through (5) or what is called the “shine” ball, “spit” ball, “mud” ball or “emery” ball. The pitcher is allowed to rub the ball between his bare hands.

PENALTY: For violation of any part of Rules 8.02(a)(2) through (6):(a) The pitcher shall be ejected immediately from the game and shall be suspended automatically for 10 games.(b) If a play follows the violation called by the umpire, the manager of the offense may advise the plate umpire that he elects to accept the play. Such election shall be made immediately at the end of the play. However, if the batter reaches first base on a hit, an error, a base on balls, a hit batsman, or otherwise, and no other runner is put out before advancing at least one base, the play shall proceed without reference to the violation.(c) Even though the offense elects to take the play, the violation shall be recognized and the penalties in subsection (a) will still be in effect.(d) The umpire shall be sole judge on whether any portion of this rule has been violated.

1540 Is No Longer The Ticket

For those who happen to care, KMPC 1540 'The Ticket' here in Los Angeles has officially done away with all their local sports talk and are going to conentrate on bringing you more of the pre-packaged national sports talk that the majority of sports talk radio format fans here in the city don't really care about. I am sure that if I wanted to know the ins and outs of Auburn football, I would tune into to any number of jag offs at the other stations to hear them spew meaningless rushing stats against Florida. That is not great sports talk. Great sports talk was being able to call up Petros or Freddie Roggin, hell even that horrid Dave Smith on occasion, and talk about why Brian Cook was a worthless peice o'Shite or why Grady Little had a better chance of managing a McDonalds franchise then a winning Dodger team. You listened to the local only afternoon format because you wanted to call the 'P' and talk about getting faded in the parking lot at the Coli while waiting to enter the USC game. You listened also because you wanted to hear Mario in La Habra or Ronathon in Gardena say something incrediblly stupid and be laughed at by the crew. It was all once so great.

Now, we are left with the usual host of gas bags and dead air specialists that have zero talent and only speak to listen to themselves talk. Arnie Spanner has never been cool nor informative or entertaining for that matter. I am sure that if I was a die hard Knick fan, or a serious follower of ACC college football, I would be in seven heaven. Steve Mason and John Ireland prove on a constistant bases over on KSPN that they haven't had an original thought nor a clue for the better part of 10 years now, and the black hole that is Xtra Sports is a down right disgrace. Truly awful times.

Now I know that sports talk is, in the grand scheme of things, not very important at all. As Big Eddie Shultz once said on his radio show, sports talk is the type of format that will get you worked up about a guy striking out with the bases loaded on a daily bases. I don't need that type of drama in my life. However, the afternoons at KMPC was great escapism for me, when I was unemployed and bored out of my mind, when I was having rough times at home, sitting in gridlock trying to get home, or simply to forget about the disaster the real world has become. I tuned into the Petros Show and knew that for the next three hours, I would laugh the hardest I have in a while, and I would be able to forget about the problems I may have had. I may be getting sappy and sentimental, but the radio has truly lost one of the greatest things going for it.

And it is quite sad, actually, that the second largest market in the country has no NFL team and now no real local sports talk. We are stuck in sports limbo having to listen to the worries of Florida State fan or the rants of Buckeye Bob in Ohio. I could really care less. All I want is to listen to great sports talk, worry about who will win the Fight Club Forum match up, and listen to young Lincoln Baum talk about bagging another breezie in the Michigan dorm.

Show Me The 'Money Ball'

Ken Macha just got fired, just now. Who the hell cares, right? Well, we should care because with him goes another facet in the argument made by Billy Beane in the 2003 book by Michael Black, Money Ball. Despite introducing us to the world of small market baseball and the sabremetric geeks that make up a small population of the baseball world, the reader was also able to read all about the fundamentals to winning in a small market, dictated through the maniacal dealings of the Oakland General Manager and his minions. The book attempts to paint Beane as a semi-genius who some how has figured out this whole free agency thing, however as time goes by all we are left with is an increasingly narrative that resembles more fiction than fact.

We got the first dismantling of the Money Ball theory last off season, when after guiding the Dodgers to the worst finish in a while, the boy blunder, A.K.A. Paul DePodesta was abruptly fired as the Blue's GM while conducting his managerial search. And to think, he was just on the verge of signing that managerial legend Terry Collins to lead the ship. In any case, DePodesta's implementation of the Money Ball fundamentals lead to more irrational transactions that would make chaos theorists chomp at the bit for an analysis of his actions. Paul LoDuca and the selling of Shawn Green, despite his inability to catch a fly ball these days, for what was supposed to be the catcher of the future Dioner Navarro are a few examples of the brain cramps DePodesta and his IBM Thinkpad had while with the Blue. Getting rid of Jim Tracy was also not the brightest idea in the world; however the maneuver does fit with the Money Ball modus operandi.

As stated in the 'novel,' Beane loved him some Macha because Ken was the type of baseball mind that would be willing to let Beane make managerial moves while his eccentric self was out driving around he parking lot all night during the game. Macha was a yes man, a guy that was willing to play whoever the guys upstairs wanted playing, and a guy that was to rarely receive any of the credit for what happened on the field while taking the brunt of the blame. In essence, the perfect fall guy, stooge, goat, etc. Depo tried this act with Tracy and he walked, partly because Trace is a stand up baseball guy who actually manages the game.

Need more, OK. J.P. Riccardi in Toronto, another Beane disciple, saw his clubhouse completely divided near the end of the 2006 season when manager John Gibbons, another yes man, got into it with Shea Hillenbrand and Ted Lilly. During Riccardi's tenure, the Jays have managed to finish as high as 3rd once, but hey, at least they never finish in last. Despite running off a semi-productive player in Hillenbrand, and alienating pretty decent pitching arm, Riccardi loves him some Gibbons because the brand of mediocre baseball maneuvering that Gibbons brings to the table is just enough to make the Jays fans excited until mid-July, when the Yankees and Red Sox make their traditional visits to Skydome and smack the Jays around for a few series all the while relegating said Blue Birds 15 games out of first. Never has a city cried in chorus for Cito Gasten harder then Toronto.

So what do we take away from all this. Well, Macha is probably better off being fired. Now he can probably join a real coaching staff and actually feel what it's like to manage. However the long and short of it is that managers will come and go in Oakland, however the club, and any other club using a variation on the Money Ball principle, will never win anything because they are built around a statistical fallacy and not on the reality of baseball. That reality being that the human heart, chemistry, and down right desire trump any statistical logarithm or analysis. Fire Kenny Macha, fire Billy ‘couldn't buy a hit in the bigs’ Beane as well.

Psycho Steve Lyons Update

It strikes me a little odd that the same company the employs the perverted sexual harassing Bill O’Reilly and the conservative lying pornographer Sean Hannity would have a problem with a pretty innocuous comment made about Hispanics from Steve Lyons of all people. Now don’t get me wrong, Steve Lyons is pretty annoying and is not for all audiences, however I really don’t mind him and what he brings to Dodger’s Live and the radio calls. So finding out that he was fired about over a comment that quite frankly nobody got, and that as a Hispanic I didn’t take offense to is pretty troubling seeing as how the company employs a network of "people" that say far worst about far more many people on a daily basis. I guess this only lends more credence to the fact that those right wing gas bags over on the Fox News Channel are more actors than journalists, and their viewers are secretly supporting the exploitation of themselves on a really bad reality show.

Petros Papadakis Update

So it turns out that all around bad guy Roger Nadel, KMPC 1540 The Ticket General Manager, became irrate after the Friday September 29 show when Petros engaged in a conversation with a caller about the bleek outlook at 1540 The Ticket. It is no secret that the Ticket is a piece of crap, and that the station is 2 steps from being completely off the air. Let's face it, Tony Bruno and his lap dog Mark Willard will be moved to whatever station picks up the Sporting News Radio contract, as will Dave Smith. The only thing that made 1540 attractive was that it had the "P," and was host to the only original show in the market. Having lost USC football this season, the Ticket had resorted to becoming your average play-by-play radio station with football games of teams an L.A. sports fan could care less about.

With the impending sale of the station, the future was awfully bleek for the Ticket and the "P." Nadel, always the radio executive that runs the station much like the worst run high school in South Los Angeles, is a typical overreactor that is more concerned with his own ass then with providing "great sports talk" to the city. He is from the Ray Calusa mold of general manager, who while at KSPN 710 decided to run Fat Joe McDonald and Doug Krekorian from the station and replacing them with the unlistenable pair of dildos that currently inhabit the time slot. I beleive they are Mason and Ireland at this point, but I am sure that there have been a fair share of turn over in the slot. For Fat Joe's part, all he has done is get picked up over at XTRA 570, who I guess decided to go back to a sports talk format by dumping Mancow and that other idiot Phil Hendrie. Regardless, NEXTRA is still pretty unlistenable as well even with Jim Rome still in the rotation. And to all those Rome fans, that stuff was funny in like 1996.

The Ticket is pretty much worthless at this point. Bruno and the lap dog are your typical morning sports duo that have nothing new to offer the sports talk landscape. Dave Smith, when he is not telling the story about being sent to county jail, is busy pushing boxing down our throats, and the 2 Live Stews are, well, I won't get into their act. In short, Petros was all the station had and now he is gone and with him goes probably the freshest and most charasmatic voice on the Los Angeles radio dial. Where else could you hear about PAC-10 football, Michigan updates with freshman Lincoln Baum, and get advice on how to pick up drunk breezies at the Clipper game? I guess it's back to Air America on the XM for me.

Good Bye to the Petros Papadakis Show

Today is probably one of the saddest days of my life because I just found out that Petros Papadakis has decided to end his relationship with KMPC 1540 The Ticket in Los Angeles. Gone are the Superfly "TOOOONIIIGHT!" drops, reggae music lead ins, This Charming Man, Lance Romance, Cornelius Corndog Edwards, Brian "The Hoelice Chief" Viera and the rest of the crew. What will I do with my afternoon commute. This f'n sucks balls man.

How Long Til Pitchers and Catchers Report?

I was feeling rather pensive last night and wanted to give the blue an easy time of it with my final remarks on the 2006 season, however it is quite difficult to find silver linings in a season that should have been more then what was delivered. I am never the less amazed as to how some players seem to fall part come the big moment.

Greg Maddux may have over 300 wins, but that fact that he slid in to 1 world championship when the bumbling Bobby Cox managed to luck out and be pegged against another idiot in Mike Hargrove and his Cleveland Indians says a lot about a guy that is a supposed "genius." On Saturday night Maddux decided to pack it in, and laid an egg in front of the home crowd of over 54 thousand to gift the Mets a 9-5 victory. It goes without saying, that this was a series more lost by the Dodgers than won by the Mets. I am glad he won't be back next season as I was growing pretty tired of his overly condisending, psuedo-intellectual, act with the media. The supposed calculating mind of Maddux is nothing more than the simple calculations of a washed up pitcher. Cerebral my ass. All I saw was a guy that gave the Mets four early runs and grabbed his gear when he got lifted for a pinch hitter to leave the dugout area. Great team mentality there Gregie.

I hate the fact that Grady will be back, had I been in control of the Dodger ship I would have fired him minutes after the final out was recorded and called Dusty Baker to come home once and for all. The Dodgers need Dodgers at the helm, not guys that couldn't manage their way out of paper bags and got themselves run out of Boston for being a poor tactitian. Ned Colleti, still collecting a pay check from the Giants, should have hired the Bulldog Orel Hershiser to lead this squad. Instead we got stuck with the 'ah shucks' boy and his crew of guys that single handedly destroyed the 88 win season. Rich Donnelly should have been fired on the spot after that baserunning blunder in game 1, and Rick Honeycutt may have had a pretty decent career, however he can't coach worth a damn and his inability to fix mechanical problems in pitchers and provide the guidance for solid performances should also warrant a pink slip.

Regardless, the Dodgers will have to be busy this off season with the shopping list being fairly obvious. The team needs to get a real first baseman, one that has power and is a prototypical first baseman, not a converted infielder. Unless they are willing to commit to James Loney, they have to go out and find a guy like Richie Sexson or Mark Teixeira. Kent is still a good second baseman, Betimit can shore up 3rd, and Furcal is a mainstay at short. In the outfield, the Dodgers have to commit to Andre Eithier in left and sign a solid center fielder like Scott Podsednik, Vernon Wells, or Willy Taveras. Drew would round out that outfield quite nicely.

Then the Achillies Heel of the team has to be addressed. The starting pitching has three guys that are committed, Penny, Billingsley, and Kuo, after that I would expect that everyone is in play. The market is going to be flooded with solid 1 and 2 starters, all NED has to do is go out and spend some of that McCourt money. They guy on everyones list is Roy Oswalt, if he's not a Dodger then you can run Ned out of town a la Kevin Malone because Oswalt should be begging to play in a stadium that will make his fastball look like Don Drysdale's. After that, you sign a buy like Tim Hudson, Carlos Silva, or the guy that I asked for back in May, Dontelle Willis.

Regardless, the face of the Dodgers will have to be redone to contend in 2007. Fans will have to demand that they field more then a bunch of Punch and Judy hitters to round up a lineup. It's not rocket science, it's only common sense, and no Ned, having 9 guys that are essential carbon copies of each other is not exactly a good idea. Hey Ned, way to go!

File Under Tooting My Own Horn: Madgaffer Scoops the Majors

Talk about being on top of this journalism stuff. Madgaffer broke the Nomar quad story at 8:37 AM. The Associated Press reported this item at, wait for it, 8:47PM eastern 5:47PM pacific. Pay special attention to the time stamp at the bottom of the story.

Garciaparra has Torn Quadriceps
By John Nadel, AP Sports Writer
October 6, 2006 - 8:47PM

Nomar Done for the Year?

My guy on the inside tells me not to expect Nomar for the remainder of the post season, however long that is. After leaving the game in the sixth, Nomar flew ahead of the team to L.A. to seek treatment on what is speculated as being a torn quadriceps muscle.

What Else Did you Expect?

Did I watch tonight's game? In a word, no. I spent the evening trying to figure a complex Explosion in the Sky song, you know the one from that high school football movie set in Texas, yeah that one. Anyway, I apparently missed out on what was sure to be a classic performance by Tom Glavine, one in which his slider starts 2 inches off the plate and finishes 7 inches off the plate without ever crossing the plate. Yeah, I'm sure he has all those wins because umpires NEVER give him that outside foot of the plate. Anyway, what I missed was another typical Dodger post season performance where they ended up a day late and a dollar short.

It is as if the bums are pre-destined to lose these games. Since winning it all over the roided up A's in '88, the Blue have only managed 1 post season win. That translates to 1-11 in the past 18 years, not exactly setting the world on fire. What has come about from all this is a culture of failure that infests the organization and seems to be the same reasoning the Clippers use after every season, OK they are not that bad. However, post season losing has become common place with this club and the silent bats didn't do anything to wake up those Dodger ghosts of past. As a matter of fact, this team, cleverly named the "Band of Others" by the LA Times is exactly that, a bunch of guys that have been brought in to change the mood of the club house and the losing culture. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Furthermore, it is a miracle they have managed to get this far without Jeff Kent running over someone with his motor bike, or Brad Penny putting a fist into the wall. I bet it's only a matter of time before Raphael Furcal starts drinking again. In any case, the Dodgers are now showing the same flat line characteristics a kin to a someone laid out on the slab with a bullet in the chest.

And it goes without saying that the 3.5 million suckers that bought a ticket to go watch the club play this past year have been treated to nothing but the best, except when it comes to the post season. The loyal fans, much like my neighbor Gary who let his 11/2 year old daughter go crying while he yelled at his television, bare witness to the absolute collapse of a once proud franchise that won post season games as easily as Kutcher pulled breezies and Matt Leinert got basketball players from Thousand Oaks preggers. This franchise has become mediocre and are on the verge of losing out to a team that despite its record, lacks the pitching depth to make it in the postseason.

So what are we left with? Well the season is fading away quicker then Dennis Hastert's speakership and the team flys back to Los Angeles to open up the Revine one last time in 2006. Of couse, the block will be hot and major geekage will be in order, however the prospects of pushing this to the full 5 games seem slim and the fact is that despite all that has happened, Jose Lima might still remain the lone post season legend since Kirk Gibson.

Too LITTLE, Too Late.

I am not going to pile on and breakdown the baserunning meltdown that essentially cost the Blue 2 runs in the 2nd inning. Rather, I am going to discuss how the on going bullpen Russian Roulette is slowly killing the Dodger's chances of winning this series. Baserunning blunders aside, it is not what lost the game last night. The thing that lost the game was the implosion of Brad Penny et al, and the bullpen's inability to hold leads or ties late in ball games.

I never thought I would say this, but Mark Hendrickson was dealing. He came up in the sixth and shut down the Mets with a couple of strike outs. For a moment, the Dodgers looked like the tide was turning and they could actually pull it out. I mean, Nomar's clutch 2 out double capped a great comeback to tie the ball game at 4, and all signs were pointing up for the bums. Then came Penny, as he swadled in from the bullpen, he apparently forgot to pack his control and issued walks to the first two batters he faced. He finally was bounced after a Carlos Delgado double that plated the winning run.

I understand Grady's thinking, he wanted to save the hammer Broxton for the 8th and bring in Saito in the 9th, I get that. I just don't get why you would go away from what got you here in that situation. Penny is a fat starter, that's his deal. He isn't a reliever, and if there is something I know, it's that you can't tell a starter who has his usual pre start rituals to get hype and come in in relief. In those extremely rare cases where you get a guy that is just a straight baller, perhaps you can call on him to come out and be effective out of the pen. Uncle Tommy had success in '88 when he brought the Bulldog Orel Hershiser out of the pen, and Randy Johnson was very successful coming out of the pen in Mariner playoff games against the Yankees. Of course, for everyone of those examples, there is always the picture of Charlie Liebrandt of the Braves in the '91 World Series when Kirby Pucket took him deep to cap a brilliant comeback in game 6 and eventually a classic 1-0 victory in 10 innings in game 7. Last night's performance was more the latter.

Had Grady gone to a guy like Brett Tomko or Giovanni Cararra, maybe the game stays tied. Of course, if my mother had balls then she would be my dad. In any case, Grady showed his usual playoff prowes by going to a guy that had no realistic business being in the game. Penny is scheduled for game 4, he shouldn't even be on the trip, not with a "bad back." He should be at the Revine getting round the clock treatment and preparing for the game 4 start. Now, not only have the Mets seen some of his stuff, but they know they can hit him and Penny knows they can hit him. It's a no win situation.

Speaking of no win situations, Grady has already come out and said that there is no way he is going to use Derek Lowe on three days rest for game 4. "If we are down in the series and need to win game 4, we still need to win game 5. I would rather save Lowe for game 5." Sounds logical enough, however I and most of the reality based community know that you can't get to game 5 if you don't win game 4. This makes absolutely no sense seeing as how the only guy you can really depend on is Lowe, and a game 4 victory means you go back to Shea and throw the kitchen sink at the Mets. It just seems that Grady's line of reasoning falls in the same catagory as the logic which led him to keep Pedro Martinez in another inning in the 2003 ALCS. Had he not, then perhaps we would be talking about that great Red Sox dynasty of the mid-2000's and not Aaron F'n Boone. As they say, a fish rots from the head down.

Looking ahead, the only guy I really am going to miss from this club is Nomar. I have to admit, I did geek that guy pretty hard this year and came to be a true fan of number 5. Despite the big hits and the decent job he did at first, Nomar was a real "g" all the way. When asked be a youth group why the music he came to bat to was "Low Rider" by War, Nomar responded that it reminded him of home, Whittier, CA. That's super gangsta' if you ask me, way to keep it real Nomar.

Three and ...

Heading into the final series of the regular season, the Dodgers find themselves with a two game advantage on the Philadelphia Phillies for the NL wild card and a game out of first in the west. Everything looks good right? Not so fast. The blue left Colorado yesterday triumphant after dropping 19 on the Rocks headed for the Northern California Coast and the dreaded McCovey Cove. Sure, the Dodgers have faired a lot better at Pac Bell/Monster/SBC/AT&T/CIA/NSA Park, however all that goes out the proverbial window as the Dodgers and the Giants meet again in what will make or break the blue's season.

Am I geeked, oh hell no. I'm going to be locked away somewhere well out of view of a television of far from earshot of a radio. No, the anticipation and anxiety won't allow me to bring myself to enduring what plans to be a series that tests your blatter's ability to keep liquids tucked away. This weekend is shaping up to be one of the most difficult periods I have had to endure in a while and I don't know if I can keep sane this weekend at all. OK, enough dramatics, on to the point of all this. What I fear most is not what happens on the field, what worries me is history.

Remember back in 1982 when that little sawed off bastard Joe Morgan and his chicken wing flap hit one at Candlestick to knock the Dodgers out of contention for the playoffs? How about that infamous Bobby Thompson shot back at the Polo Grounds that 'won the pennant!!!' for the freakin' Giants. In short, stranger things have happened and with this Dodger squad, a four game lead with three to play wouldn't be safe, (SARCASM).

Nothing would please the Giants and all of their small minded Barry Bonds fans more then to knock the Dodgers out of the playoffs with the effects of that 2004 collapse on the next to last day of the season at Dodger Stadium still lingering with the organization. Steve Finley is now wearing the other uniform, however the slam he hit in that game forever put him in the anolls of Dodger lore, and that will be a main motivator for the Giants and their faithful. Of course, you knew it would have to come to this, when the schedule was released late last year, a smart fan would forget about the opener and go straight to the last series of the year. 'Oh shit, it's against the Giants in San Francisco," was probably what was collectively said when everyone clicked on dodgers.com to check out the scene. A more optimistic fan would say that they wouldn't want it any other way and that it would be sweet to secure a playoff spot in the house that Kevin Elster christened in the 2000 season. A more pessimistic person, or one living in the reality based community, would argue that this weekend is tailor made for an ambush and a total reversal of fortunes for the blue.

For the sakes of millions of Dodger fans and their sanity, I hope that tonight the team goes out there and waxes the Giants while the Marlins take care of the Phils. That is the perfect scenario that everyone hopes and prays for. The nightmare the I keep getting however sees us dropping all three, much like in 1996 when all we had to do was win one against the juiced up Ken Caminiti and and dropped all three to finish with the wild card. Still the playoff yes, but a 3 game blasting by Atlanta was not as rewarding as an easier stroll in the park against the Cardinals. After that, a long plane ride home another off season of asking why. For all of our sakes, Hong Chi-Kou better have it tonight.

Dodgers: Securing a Playoff Spot as Hard as Chinese Arithmetic

I'm becoming an Astro fan. Well, let me explain. Ordinarily I would have nothing to do with the 'City of Syrup,' home to the Geto Boys and Dj Screw, and who can forget the corporate looting of Enron. After all, the Astros' home was once known as 'Enron Park.' In any case, the good old boys from down south are making their typical late season run at the Cardinals and currently find themselves only 1 1/2 games back in the central. Why the sudden loyalty to a team that I have no previous affiliation with? Well, for all the breaks that the Cardinals have been giving the Friars this week in their two losses to the San Diego club, those dirty rat bastards and all their fans deserve to wallow in their misery by missing the post season with arguably the greatest offensive weapon in Albert Pujols.

Houston also boasts a few dudes that are actually pretty cool, unlike the red birds who are filled with guys who wouldn't bother to piss on you if you were on fire, especially that Crespi High gas can Jeff Suppan, more on him later, the ‘Stros have a few dudes that are actually pretty cool. Sure we all know about Craig Biggio, that little hanging elbow of his is as good as a hit sometimes when he leans out over the plate and gets drilled. I kind of like a guy who is willing to do whatever it takes to help the team and get on base. Also, the USC connection makes them pretty cool. Sure Morgan Ensberg is kind of a dick, but Jason Lane, 1998 College World Series Champion, is one of the best people you will ever meet. You know a ball player is pretty cool when you see him in a public place, much as I did at the Papadakis Taverna during the off season, and he is willing to shake your hand and spend a few minutes chatting with you instead of giving you the usual blow off. I'm sure that the fact that Petros and Brian 'The Hoelice Chief of Manhattan Beach' Viera were there as well loosened up the Lane.

Andy Pettitte is also pretty cool, not to mention 'Rocket' Clemens, and Lance Berkman, I saw him hit one during the Mountain West tournament that still hasn't landed at Tony Gwynn stadium. In short, the Astros are a pretty likeable bunch, and they are coming to shoot down some birds. They are on the prowl for the red birds who have decided to take a late season swan dive like Greg Louganis and in the process, blowing all chances for the Dodgers to win the NL west. Sure the boys did it to themselves, they didn't sweep the late season series with the Fathers and for that they are paying the consequences, however they were banking on the Cardinals to actually show up this week and not just do their best Oakland Raider impression and step aside for the offense. I mean really, when a team the caliber of the Friars comes to town and does you in your own stadium like you were the team scheduled for the homecoming game, then you don't deserve to be in the world title conversation. Call me crazy, but a team that lets Chris Young handle you like a Cy Young, oh wait, the Dodgers lost to him as well.

If the Dodgers fail to secure a spot in the playoffs, it will be by a handful of games at this stage of the program, a handful of games that can be traced to four games that the team had in hand but could not finish. On April 30, as I stated in an earlier post in this very blog, 'Lance-A-Crap!' the Dodgers blew a 5 run lead at the 'Pet' to the Friars and lost in extra innings 6-5 after Lance F'n Carter and Denys Baez decided to implode on that Sunday afternoon. Two days later, the disinterested Odalis Perez blew a 6 run lead at Arizona and the Dodgers would go on to lose 10-8. Earlier this month against the Chicago Cubs, yes the Cubs, the team blew game one and game three of the series when they had a multi-run lead going into the eight and ninth innings. Those four games, with all things being equal, are the four that will haunt the Dodgers should they fail to qualify for the playoffs. I know that in a 162 game season it is difficult to say that one win or one loss lost it for you, but if the Dodger relievers convert on those four games, they they would find themselves with the 87 wins that Grady has stressed since day one, would get them into the postseason. It would have also given them a 2 game lead in the west with 5 to go.

So again, the importance if finishing games and a solid bullpen in the end is what is currently dogging the Dodgers. With no real hammer in the pen, and the loss of Eric Gagne, Ned Colletti's failure to acquire a solid 5th starter and a decent reliever has given this team a hard, Sisyphus like uphill battle to make the show.

As for Jeff Suppan, he is still the same dead arm that got roped by every batter in the 1993 Franklin Panther line up that Saturday Afternoon when the mighty Panthers smoked Crespi 16-2.

Hard Hitting Ventura/Simi Valley Softball Analysis Forthcoming.

You Don't Have to Go Home, But You Have to Get the Hell Out of Here

The season is on life support, barely breathing like Duncan Sheik, however still with a heartbeat. Nomar Garciaparra wrapped up the year at the stadium by sending home the patrons with a victory courtesy his walk off grand slam in the ninth. The win kept the team within striking distance of the Friars and the Phillies, and also managed to save the McCourt's a little face this season barring the blue missing the playoffs. It would have really been something to lose the last game of the season at your park. That's always a great way to show that fan appreciation.

This would have been even greater news had the Friars lost, however they were busy putting the finishing touches on a series sweep of the Pirates, the team that had just taken 2 of 3 from the blue. That leads me to the thesis of this post, how can we expect the Dodgers to win a spot in the playoffs if they can't even take down sub five hundred clubs? The Fathers did what they had to do, so did the Phillies, beat teams that were inferior in talent and beat them handedly. The Dodgers struggled every step of the way against the Brewers, Cubs, Pirates and Diamondbacks, all teams with sub 500 records and all teams that will be watching the post season and listening to that blow hard Joe Buck on the call. It may very well be the same place the Dodgers will be watching from.

One key component to all this madness is the fact that the studly Jeff Kent has list "it." No longer is his porno stash cutting the mustard, last night being no exception to that rule. Kent went 0-4 against weak Arizona pitching last night, and looks overmatched in many of his at bats. In key situations he has struck out with runners in scoring position or lifted lazy pop flies to the infield. The team as a whole is pressing, but Kent is starting to look like the easiest out in the lineup. Even the light hitting Julio Lugo shows more pop these days. What is ailing Kent? Well, he is old, that's for sure. However his entire season seemed to derail after getting hit in the head earlier this season by Giant headhunter Ryan Hennessey. Since that doming, Kent has seen a considerable drop off in his average and home run production and has been in and out of the line up. Less we forget, a beaning by Soloman Torres was essentially what killed Sammy Sosa's career, although was wasn't necessarily such a bad thing.

J.D. Drew seems to be one of the only ones in the line up doing much of anything, his big hits have at least made the Dodgers scary to opposing pitchers. However when you lead off an inning and watch the next three batters strike out, pop out, and strike out, then I'm sure it is a little disheartening. For the money that the boy blunder Paul DePodesta paid him, J.D. is finally looking he is worth the investment.

Entering the final six, to team has an off day and will be rooting for Houston and St. Louis to win their games. It is a sad state of affairs however, when you went from controlling your own destiny to scoreboard watching and rooting for other teams. Sliding in the back door is never better then breaking down the front.

That Ship has Left the Barn

Heading into the final seven games of the season, it's all but over for the boys in blue. They give it a pretty good ride, but in the end they failed to close out the rest of the pretenders in the league and let weak Padre and Phillies teams pass them in the standings. Tonight's loss epitomized the season perfectly. An early lead, followed by an inferior team's ability to catch the Dodgers and then blow them out of the water late. It's getting to the point where it has become so precitable, that you stop watching because it's like that scary movie where it doesn't matter how many times you see it happen, the stupid half naked girl always goes into the room by herself and get a machete through the skull.

Brad Penny showed tonight why he was the perfect choice to start the All-Star game for the national league. Seeing as how the AL always seems to win home field advantage in the World Series, it is no wonder they let a guy like Penny start off the festivities. Tonight against a club that couldn't get an all-star named to the Valley Adult Baseball League, Penny managed to squander a three run lead by making idiotic pitches to batter he should have blown away. It's like the time UCLA basketball lost to Detroit Mercy in the NCAA Tournament, they got sucked into playing a really slow game and ultimately got beat by an inferior team. The same happened tonight, Penny thought he could be crafty and throw breaking junk that ended up leaving the yard and in the process make a College World Series goat look like Ty Cobb.

The last time I had seen Carlos Quinton, he was crying like a little girl after the Rice Owles handed him and his much hyped Stanford team their asses in the final game of the College World Series. Besides crying, he also took the opportunity to show his team building skills by blaming the loss on his coaches and the starting pitcher who "couldn't seem to throw a big pitch to save his life." He became the latest young player that the Dodgers have made a star of. With a 3-1 lead in the second, Penny hung "the intimidator" to Quinton and it ended up in the alcohol free zone ah-la Jack Parkman. I don't think Quinton did his little shimmie though, the one that makes "all the girls go crazy." What a waste.

The Dodgers then decided to cap the night off with a series of innings that would have pitching coaches around the league proud of Miguel Batista. With a total of 24 pitches in three innings, the Dodger bats decided to go into "operation shutdown" early and call it a night. Apparently it's tough to get a table these days at Cuidad. In any case, the crowd that was there to see if the Dodgers could keep pace with the rest of the teams in contention got to see a tired and battered team beat another tired and battered team 9-3. With as many veterans that Arizona had on the field, it's amazing that they look more spry then the young Dodgers.

The loss pushed the Dodgers to 1 1/2 back in the West and 1/2 back in the wild card chase. With the schedule favoring the Phillies you kind of get the feeling that the Phanatic will probably be doing his stupid dance in the post season. The Friars do have to go on the road and face the Cardinals, a tall order but still troubling for Dodger fans as the Fathers have taken 2 of 3 in the their previous match up and the Cards don't have all that much to play for. Plus, with things being the way they are, the same baseball Gods that have Ozzie Smith hitting rare home runs in the ninth inning in huge playoff games against the Dodgers and have John Tudor, the Dodger Killer, join the Dodgers from the Cards only to blow his arm out, will probably find a way to screw the blue. I guess I'm starting to sound a lot like a Raider fan and the "tuck rule" conspiracy theory.

In any case, the Dodgers now find themselves in a major jam. Grady had said all along that the club would have to hit 87 wins to make the post season. With 7 to go, they would have to go 6-1 and although this team has shown in the past that they are capable of doing it, the chances of that actually happening are slim to none, and yes, slim just got that machete in the back of the head.

Fallen and They Can't Get Up

Not to beat a dead horse, but the Dodgers again provided more emperical evidence to the theory behind their momemtum gathering decent in the league standings. In a tight 3-2 ball game last night, Grady brought in dead arm specialist Aaron Sele who yeilded 3 runs to the Pirates, and in the process made Xavier Nady, Jack Wilson, Jason Bay, and some guy named Paulino look like Andy Van Slyke, Chico Lind, Bobby Bonnila, and Barry Bonds. Again, the offense tried to come back and would have won the game had they only been helped by a little bit of decent pitching. Hey Grady, if you are looking for another arm, I'm always available. I can hang a curve like the best of them. Unfortunately, the point to this game is to not hang those curves, and the "slider" that Sele attempted to throw last night to Nady looked like something Napolean Dynamite's Uncle Rico would have thrown.

Now the Dodgers find themselves in at dead tie with the Phillies, who's wide nosed first baseman Ryan Howard is the latest home run hitter du jour and the darling of the ESPN Baseball Tonight crew. At least we don't have to watch all of Barry's at bats on that show as their talking mouth stuffed shirt host and ex decent ball player anchor cream their shorts over the young slugger. With the schedule favoring the Phillies, it is starting to look rather grim for the blue.

They do have the possibility of winning the west, of course, just like I may someday run and finish a marathon, however that would take something that the Dodgers desperately lack, heart. Jeff Kent is the latest to illustrate his drivng desire to win. With the bases loaded and 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth, Kent took the count to 3-2. Yes, the moment that every kid dreams of, sans the world series, two outs, bottom of the ninth, winning run on base, chance to be a hero, put your team back into first place, etc. Here is the pitch and he totally swings at ball four and strikes out against Soloman Torres. Game over, drive safely, thanks for coming.

I'm not putting it all on Kent, he should have not had to be in that position. Had the bullpen, again, done their job perhaps Kent would only have to worry about not letting squibers bounce through the infield and score runners from second, much like he let happen in the 7th inning when Wilson singled home Chris Duffy. Regardless, it is what it is, and now it's a giant crap sandwhich which all of the fans are going to have to eat.

If the Dodgers can't find their way out of this recent funk that has seen them lose 2 of 3 in series with the Brewers, Cubs, and now Pirates, barring a Buc sweep tonight, then they will most likely miss the playoffs. It wouldn't be anything new as fans have grown accustomed to it, however going from the top of the standings to missing out would be devastating to this organization and would most definately warrent a complete overhaul. It is down right unacceptable to be in the lead for most of the race only to be passed in the final lap. See, I can deal with a youth moment and even a "rebuilding year" if the organization was to present it to me that way. If they said, "hey, we are going to play all the rookies and get them the experience they need so that we could win in 2 or 3 years," then I could deal with that and deal with the last place finish. But they are hitting us with a combination of old farts and rookies who hit a nice stride in July and August but have hit a wall and can no longer hang on in September. That to me is a big waste of time, and something that shows no commitment to the city and the fans by the loveable "haaaard ons" the McCourts.

Dodger Notes: The Cure for a Healthy Mind

A day after reaccessing the Dodgers loss to the lowely Pirates last night, I still have a few observations as I grow increasingly more frustrated with the stupidity most of the local writers and bloggers exhibit. Despite what is said and written, Monday night's performance means absolutely nothing now that the Dodger blew a golden opportunity to build on that momentum. So all you hack bloggers on Dodger.com, Latimes.com, and ladailynews.com can all officially SHUT UP! I wonder if all those blogs are run by A. Martinez, the biggest Dodger apologist on KFWB. I only wonder what Stu Nahan would have to say about all this.

One major issue that seems to be overlooked again and again is that the Dodgers cannot hold late leads or ties. Grady illuded to it in last night's presser, "we have to find a way to stop the bleeding late," however several people still seem to gloss over the fact that for two games in a row, rookie reliever Johnathan Broxton was brought in late inning hold situations and failed on both occasion giving up the winning run in the 3rd game of the Friar series and giving up 4 in the capper. It's one thing to be loyal, however its a whole different thing entirely to repeat an act over and over again and expect the same results. That's insanity, and Grady must really be close to buying that farm, because his decision to run Broxton out there and attempt to get the outs was the wrong move. Sure Broxton has done it before, but that was before his arm got tired from pitching in so many games and he has definetly lost some velocity and movement on his fastball. But all this is repeating the obvious.

Moving on, one thing that caught my eye was the squable Fathers pitcher and Alabama Slamma' Jake Peavy and Mariano Duncan, the pride of the Domincan, seem to have started during their last game on Monday night. Reportedly, Peavy was walking off the field after striking out a Dodger batter yelling at no one in particular. Duncan then, alledgedly, walked past Peavy and told him to get some class and not to show anyone up. "We're going to get your cocky ass you stupid fuck," was the gist of what was said by Duncan, that according to the wordsmith Peavy. Duncan for his part admitted he said it, which is a real gangsta thing to do, and added that what had set him off was the cultured Peavy's response to Rafael Furcal dropping a bunt on him, "Swing the bat, you little shit." Duncan apparently also took exception to the fact that Peavy was screaming down Mike Piazza as well.

Now, Peaves doesn't really strike me as the sharpest tool in the shed, and his vocabulary seems to back that point up. He is uneducated and from the South, a deadly combination. However I will agree that perhaps Duncan should have avoided the altercation, lest he wants to be seen as that unnamed Daniel Murphy High coach that likes to yell and call the opposing team's underaged players "bitch ass punks." If Peavy did say what he did to Furcal, then maybe Furcal should have dropped a bunt up the first base line forcing Peavy to field it in a position where Furcal could have run it right up his back Will Clark style. However calling a guy out in the middle of a game, near his own dugout, in a game you have to win is pretty unacceptable and down right bitch made if you ask me, and Mariano should have used a little more common sense on that one. Hey, Duncan could have always had Brad Penny plant one in Peavy's ear as well if it was that out of line. As for Mike Piazza, he lost all his self respect when he signed with the Friars, so I'm not going to defend that guy. I believe he is still to this day telling anyone that will listen that his absolutely, positively, one hundred percent without a doubt, not gay.

Jim Tracy to Dodgers: 'F-You you Bastards!'

The short lived euphoria of Monday night gave way to the stark realization on Tuesday that the Dodgers just aren't that good. After a miracle comeback to snatch victory and first place from the Friars, the Dodgers decided to follow up that magical performance by laying an egg to the Pittsburg Pirates. In the end, ole Trace ended up with the big "F' You" to those "Haaaard Ons" the McCourts and the fans.

Again the problem with the Dodgers seems pretty elementary. They can't pitch, and when you can't do that you aren't going to win too many ball games, especially against teams that you should handle with great ease. For those that thought that Monday night's loss would have devestated the Fathers, all you have to know is that while I write this post, they are well on their way to kicking the Diamondback's teeth in. So much for the straw that broke the camel's back. No, instead the surprising come from behind win only managed to sink the Dodgers and their fans deeper into the myopic abyss where dillusions of granduer and visions of pennants danced in their heads. Much like Kobe's 81, the history made at the Ravine served as more off a burden then a blessing.

Nomar Garciaparra, last night's hero, apparently decided to take the night off against Ian Snell, a crafty young pitcher that came into this game with an overwhelming 13-10 record and an ERA of around 4.60. Those numbers are down right Dave Stewart like if you ask me. All Mr. Hamm did was go 0-fer. The Dodgers countered with Hong-Chih Kuo, a crafty rookie lefty that did his best, but in a tight pennant race was unable to control the feared bat of Xavier Nady. With trouble looming in the sixth inning, Grady decided to bring in the "player to be named" in the Odalis Perez deal, Elmer Dessens, and give up the possibility of winning the game by issuing a grand slam to, ah you'll excuse me if the Pirate superstar's name escapes me at the moment. Brett Tomko was then brought in to clean up the mess, and well it wasn't pretty. Let's just say that there was a good chance Marlon Anderson's homer in the 8th would have tied the game, not just brought them to within FOUR runs.

So Dodgers wasted a valuable opportunity, and in the process kept their hopes alive for making their October vacations plans. See, this team's uncanny ability to lose the games they are supposed to win, and that good CHAMPIONSHIP quality teams win, is a clear indication of why this team lacks the pieces to seriously compete. They can't hit all that well, they are decent in the fielding department, and their pitching would have trouble getting outs at a father/son game. They are not built for anything except the occasional come from behind win that fans seem to take with the same enthusiasm as a playoff series win. They are a mediocre team that is being beaten by teams with far less talent and far less fan expectations. Monday night's anomoly aside, the Dodgers are 3-8 in extra inning games, with no wins on the road, and have a 17 loses when tied or trailing in the 7,8, and 9th innings. Translation, the bullpen sucks and the batters can't hit in the clutch. Least I remember, all those teams with magical season like the Angels, White Sox, Red Sox, and Marlins all made a habit of winning in the pinch and getting that key base hit with runners in scoring position.

Another key to a championship team is their pitching, which gets compressed and magnified in the post season. With runs at a premium, the "keep it to 8 runs" strategy that Grady has been trying to have his pitchers adhere to isn't going to cut it in the post season. Right now, I wouldn't trust Brett Tomko or Aaron Sele to gas up the whip let alone get crucial outs in tight spots. Further, the giant with the serious backne problem, Mark Hendrickson, should probably look to see if he could still line up opposite Richard Jefferson for the Nets rather then maintain a spot in the Dodger's bullpen. I guess the fact that he is 6'5" tall doesn't make him "just like Randy Johnson" does it Ned Colleti? Hey Ned, way to go!

What truly is lost in that great Monday night rally was that the hero of the day could have very easily been the goat. With runners on second and third in the 8th inning, Nomar struckout on a 2-2 pitch from Scott Linebrink. Fortunately, the bats got hot and Mr. Hamm had a chance to redeem himself. Those who are a little less optimisitic like to look at more telling numbers, like the 0-for that he posted tonight.

In the end, the Dodgers are playing with fire, down right towering infernos if they think they can follow up great performances with stinkers like tonight. They fail to realize the importance of a pennant chase and seem to think that taking the night off is OK because, hey "we made history last night and went back into first place!" Unfortunately for them and for us, it doesn't really matter what you do in the 150th game of the season.

As for the old skipper Jim, his tenure was probably just like 'a candle in the wind,' Please see Petros Papadakis Show for that reference, but atleast for one night he was able to stick it to the McCourts and put his stamp on the Dodger's season. If the team goes on to miss the playoffs, they will look to this night as the one that killed their season.

How the West Was Lost

The Dodger's have managed to do it. In the span of a month and a half, they have managed to blow a once commanding 7 1/2 game division lead and find themselves trailing the Friars by half a game. As Trevor Hoffman managed to get Kenny Lofton to fly to center, the Dodger's and their season, managed to flush another great effort, and season for that matter, down the toilet.

Am I being too negative? Perhaps. Afterall, there is still two plus weeks to go in the season and the Dodgers do face the Fathers again tommorow night. However the Dodgers look like a team that has hit their peak and is now holding on for dear life to cross the finish line. As my dad always told me, there is a difference between running through the finish line and taking a stomach dive past it. Right now the Dodgers are getting ready for that head first slide.

I am being this negative and pessimestic because I have come to know the pain associated with cheering on this team. We are not the Red Sox or the Cubs, however as Dodger fans we have come to endure failure after failure for the past several years. The Dodgers have made it a habit to make mediocre to marginal big league pitching look like Cy Young Award caliber performances. It is truly depressing to see a guy like Chris Young tossing a one hitter in a game knowing that he was almost out of the league a couple of years ago. And don't let me get started on how the Dodgers make Woody Williams look like Vida Blue. It is an absolute joke that these type of guys could shut down a talent latent team.

Epitomizing the Dodgers attitude toward this season and their fans is the old stand by J.D. Drew. His infectious brand of non-chalent baseball is truly a sight to be seen. As he lazily waves at another pitch or manages to put first base power on a pop up, he is the embodiedment of the Dodgers. They have become a bunch of guys who simply don't really look like they care anymore and are unwilling to perform in the clutch. I mean, let's be honest, this is the Padres we are talking about, not the Mets, Cardinals, or Astros for that matter. It's not like the Padres have murderers' row up there every inning of have a solid core of five starting pitchers that can dominate a game. They have a fat old guy, a tall slow guy, a short white guy with acne, and two dudes named Clay. I mean, how imposing could that be? Yet the Dodgers have managed to find a way to let these guys completely dominate them on the diamond and take from them what should have been a pretty easy division championship.

The question then becomes what to make of this season. Well if current circumstances are any indication, then we are in for more disinterested, uninspired play that will produce more disillusionment for the average fan. Hold on digression coming.

I just can't get past it. I mean, how do you let a bunch of marginal major leaguers who play in a kitty litter box come up to your house and slap you around. I mean, honestly, Russell Branyan is beating you? You are letting Dave Roberts and Josh Barfield give it to you like a dirty John on top of a sweaty hooker? Honestly folks, San Diego baseball barely qualifies as a AAA city and team yet alone the Division champions. Adrian Gonzalez and Geoff Blum? Please! They have a half game lead in the division and they are lucky to get 15,000 people to pay to see them play, let alone come out and actually watch them. I guess those fans are just smarter judging as how 54,000 Dodger fans pack the stadium to watch their team lose.

At the end of the day, the Dodgers have only themselves to blame for not being more aggressive at the trade deadline and securing their place in the post season. They did aquire some key components, all of which will be gone at the end of season, however they failed to secure the number 5 starter position and failed to get some much needed middle relief. A sign of really poor management was seen when Ned Colletti was trying to aquire David Wells on the final day of the waiver trade deadline. The Red Sox were desperate to unload the fat man and they ended up cutting a deal with the Padres for a bag of baseballs and a body. The Dodgers were reported to have been in "serious talks" with the Red Sox, however they still came up a day late and a dollar short. All of this because the Dodgers did not want to part with one of those "hot minor league prospects" that they tout like a farmers daughter. In his best Paul DePodesta move, Colletti managed to lose the west on August 30 as he left it for Chad Billingsley, Eric Stults, Aaron Sele, and Brett Tomko to figure it out and try to make games manageable by only giving up 8 runs per game. Hey Ned, way to go!

So will we win the west, probably not. I don't really see this team coming back and doing it because they are showing those sleep walking tendancies that made the late 90's so watchable for Dodger baseball fans. They don't have a guy that has hit more then 17 home runs this season and are truly in trouble when they are relying on Rafael Furcal to be their RBI man. In any case it probably is all for the best because I really didn't feel like wasting another October feeling anxious and scared to watch my television for fear of jinxing my team only to be teased by a great game three before the Cardinals slap you around a little more and have Albert Pujols hit a 3 run home run to put away your the season. No, rooting on the Yankees sounds a lot more fun.

My Blue Hell

My earlier assessment of Ned Colletti was correct; he still is on the Giants' payroll. In a move that resembles one of the better one's I've had in a while, the Dodger manager was able to flush the entire 2006 season down the toilet on Tuesday by dealing the sleepwalker, Odalis Perez, to the Royals for the proverbial bucket of baseballs, or in this case Elmer Dessens. As I stated earlier in my piece, Wake me when July Ends, the prospects of the Dodgers winning this season are slim to none, and slim just took a bullet to the head. So I guess you can wake me next season.

The Dodger woes began a series before the All-Star break, then apparently the 25 man roster decided to take an extended vacation that has seen them lose seven straight, and win only 1 game since the break. Apparently a note was found at Nomar's locker stating that he can be found at the same spring home in Havasu that Cedric Ceballos once vacationed at. In any case, the uninspired bunch have managed to make mediocre pitchers look like Vida Blue and Rollie Fingers, and the pitching has helped batters like Termell Sledge join the "Bash Brothers."

Am I pissed off, you're God damn right I am. I'm pissed because as usual I was drawn into this mess with the false promise of a winning season. "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" I'm also pissed because of the attitude and half baked logic that flies out of the Dodger GM's pie hole. I was always taught that if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. Applied to Colletti, he should just cut his tongue out to fend off temptation.

In a typical tap dance with the media, Colletti used the gem, "We aren't going to sacrifice the future for a 2-month rental," crap that flies in two bit cities that never expect to win. Unfortunately for this MENSA board member, Los Angeles isn't one of those towns. See, here in the city of angels, we like to think that our time is valuable, and the 2 and a half hours I spend watching this visual garbage on the television can be used to further other altruistic endeavors. Regardless, this year's team has managed to once again elicit disgust in the stomachs of true fans.

With that, Colleti made is pretty clear that he is not willing to mortgage the future on a guy like Greg Maddux, who can be an added upgrade in the rotation. Carlos Lee, yeah that great hitter for the Brewers that once had a 45 home run season with the ChiSox, he's not coming either because the Dodgers have devoted this season to the concept of trying to win by leaving runners in scoring position and grounding out into double plays. Apparently the team is striving for a special award at the end of the season for the team that has the fastest half of an inning, as illustrated by that Olympic record worthy performance on Monday night when Dodger hitters went down 1-2-3 in the sixth in a record 2:15 minutes. I thought the minute men were in Massachusetts.

So what is left for the average fan? Well, football season is around the corner, and although we don't have a team here in Los Angeles, I am sure that the average Dodger/Cowboy/Packer/Dolphin/Raider/Ram/49er/Eagle/Steeler fan will have something to take the place of that bleeding blue heart burn that leaves that sickening taste in your mouth, kind of like a vurp with a hint of snot.

No, Don't Tread On Me!

After the dissapointing and rather disgusting loss to the Czech Republic Monday morning, the United States men's soccer team was left to reasses their chances of success at this year's World Cup tournament. Within the first six minutes of the game, the match was over as Czech giant Jan Koeller headed home a ball that proved to be the game winner. A rather flat US team then went on to give up two more goals in what turned into a laugher when the final whistle was blown. Then, the finger pointing game stared.

Within the hour, US Coach Bruce Arena was seen on televisions proclaiming that with the exception of two or three players in the line up, everybody stunk. He was especially critical of DeMarcus Beasley and Landon Donovan, two players that have been the essential pieces of the American soccer resurgence in recent years and stated that Beasley lacked the effort neccessary to compete at the international level. "His play was uninspired and lacked creativity, he [Beasley] played mostly with his back to the goal and was not willing to run at defenders and goal," said Arena in his post match lifting of blame and putting it squarely on the players session.

This then leads us to the present, with the US facing the huge task of earning a decent result against Italy, although let's face facts, they will have to win on Saturday to have any real shot of earning a place in the second round. Confidence runs high with the team and players such as Brian McBride are saying all the right things, "As a team we have to pull together. That comes from guys that are considered leaders or veterans, that's part of our job, to refocus on Italy and put this game behind us. We're a team. Nothing's going to happen to pull us apart." Yeah right!

Bruce Arena took over as US head coach after the disasterous 1998 World Cup in France where the team, guided by the "brilliant" Steve Sampson, managed to lose every match they played and end up dead last in the tournament. As the head coach of DC United, Arena managed to become the talk of US Soccer when he won the first two titles of the MLS history and won the CONCACAF Club Champions tournament with a 1-0 result over Mexican side Toluca. Prior to his MLS success, Arena had won numerous national titles at the University of Virginia and was instrumental in the development of Claudio Reyna and Jeff Agoos, to name a few. So, when the US team tanked in international play, highlighted with a humiliating loss to football powerhouse Iran, the US Soccer Federation decided to get rid of Sampson and install Arena as the next hope.

With success in 2002 and Gold Cup compititions, the United States has managed to get back some respect and enter these World Cup Finals with a number 5 world ranking, if you believe FIFA when they say that (More Coke Than Cola). However, yesterday's game showed why once again the US is pitted in the same cycle of failure that cost Sampson his job in '98. The US team played uninspired ball and showed their lack of skill and play making ability that was on display during the three game friendly schedule that the US played in late May. Sans the woodwork that Claudio Reyna hit in the first half, the United States looked more like the number 32 team in the world and they "punted and cheered" their way to a 3-0 smoking. On top of that, the lack of any real strategy was on display as the the US looked as lost on the field as Arena looked on the bench. Obviously, however, the team was to blame and not the coach who had worked so hard to get his team ready for the match.

The lineups for the first game were a "secret" to US players, an action that Arena explained away as being a tactic to keep players active in practice and on their toes. All this really managed to accomplish was piss off several players, with the above mentioned Beasley calling the situation an unadded stressor to the entire situation. I call it Arena being a dick, and trying to make himself out to be one of these coaching premadonnas that think they have the juice and clout to pull these psychological fast ones on players. Advice to Arena, please refrain from stealing your material from Phil Jackson. The more plausible explanation was that Arena and his staff were caught with their pants down and didn't want to admit that despite the 8 months heads up he and his staff got, they really had no game plan for taking on the european side. If they did, then Arena and his staff should give back their paychecks because they are flat out stealing from the Federation with game plans like that. No, Arena and his staff failed to utilize the full talents of the American player pool and fielded a team that had not shown much in the lead up to the world cup including players such as Cory Gibbs and Steve Cherundolo, two defenders that no doubt, in the mind of Arena, were great assets to the team because of their ability to shut down all those great European fowards who stand 5'4" and shorter. It seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

So what are we left with? Not much if you are a US soccer fan. Italy showed the type of European skill in their game against Ghana that shows why Serie A is one of the top 3 leagues in the world, and that was even without using Allessandro Del Piero. Saturday's game may just be a quick lesson in not taking yourself too seriously and a nice and proper dispatching of the American side. Ghana in their loss to Italy also showed one thing, that they are more athletic and attack oriented then the Americans could ever hope to be and that Michael Essian is one of the world's best midfielders, let alone the beast that roams the middle for EPL champion Chelsea.

As for Arena, well, this World Cup is shaping up to be a disasterous one for the Americans, the type of performance that can get a guy fired, if you know what I mean.

Update
In a rather colorful interview with reporters on Tuesday, Arena did not back down from his criticism directed towards Lando and Beaz. Asking that Beasley accept the criticism levied by the head coach, Arena spouted "If he's any kind of a player and a man, he understands that. If he doesn't, then he's not going to be able to help us in Games 2 or 3, either." This brilliant piece of coaching will no doubt make the players that he is single handedly throwing under the bus rise to the occasion and want to fight on for their coach, especially now that Arena is showing so much class and devotion to them. Arena is shaping up to be a bonafide idiot, dividing the locker room in a world class pissing contest to illustrate that he is not the feeble, faux soccer player and coach that he tries to pass himself as. What a shame, to come so far only to be sunk by your own coach's ambitions and ego. I am sure that these players really appreciate being called into question by a guy that has only logged ONE career cap as a player. Even my guy Sasha Victorine has garnered more then that.

On his upcoming opponent Italy and the match fixing controversy that has enbroiled the Serie A and the Italian Football Federation, "It doesn't look like it's disturbing them a whole lot, from what I can tell," Arena said. "They're used to scandals. They're playing right through this scandal. They'll be fine. I think we need a scandal." Ahh, you are in the middle of one, dead coach walking!

Still to Come
The American Successor