Forget the Dodgers, Let's Talk Barry

As the City by the Bay bid farewell to one of their biggest "icons," Barry Bonds this week, I find it only fitting to offer up a little tribute from his hometown San Francisco Weekly. Please enjoy with your morning coffee, or perhaps an nice pastry.

Steroids Confidential

Tasty excerpt:

Under his friend's tutelage, the authors reported, Barry Bonds pumped iron and steroids alike with ferocious zeal. He endured numerous physical changes symptomatic of doping, Game of Shadows asserted, including sexual dysfunction, hair loss, and skin irritation. Yet unlike the book's somber treatment of such topics, Marlon Leftwich claims Anderson fondly reminisced about using an emery board to sand down his prized client's back acne. Leftwich recalls Anderson saying, "One time I told Barry I was gonna sell a snuff tin of his skin flakes on eBay. He got the biggest fing grin on his face and said, 'Be sure I get my cut of the profits.'" But his smile would go south in 2001 during spring training. Rapid skull growth, another indicator of heavy steroids use, had placed undue strain on the slugger's neck, resulting in hairline fractures in three upper vertebrae. According to Leftwich, Anderson disclosed that, as a remedy, doctors implanted a small titanium brace at the base of Bonds' skull to keep his abnormally large head upright. The procedure was an unqualified success: He hit 73 home runs that season, breaking McGwire's record by three.

Just Plain Sad

I never thought I would say this about my squad, but these are the biggest quitters I have ever seen. Case in point, eight inning against the Astros. Kent flies out to left, Loney strikes out looking like the over matched semi-rookie that he is, and Russell Martin, the All Star, strikes out looking extremely bad on three pitches. So long season. I am only amazed that the people who decided to use another night to be cruel to themselves, didn't rush the field and attack Grady Little for his lack of baseball management ability.

I can't say any more about this team and this season because it is not even worth it anymore. The team has lost it's heart and quite frankly, I have lost my stomach watching this piece of rotten turd they call a baseball team. I know high school teams, hell, I know little league teams that have more heart and fight in them then Furcal, Pierre, Martin, Kent, Gonzalez, Loney, Eithier, Hillabrand, and whatever loser they place in the ninth spot. God damn disgrace is what this band of jag offs have become.

Wait Til Next Year

"The boys of summer" as they were called back in the Brooklyn days, used to have a saying when they would come up short of a world title, "wait til next year." That saying died off after they Trolley Dodgers finaly got over the hump and beat the Yankees. However that saying is making a comeback, courtesy of yours truly, because this latest incarnation of the Dodgers is just as doomed for disaster as those teams were.

Grady Little is in way in over his head. However it really isn't his fault. Ned Colletti failed to pull the trigger last Tuesday, and what has transpired is all of one win after playing probably the worst team in the MLB, the Giants, and dropping the first two of three to the Diamondbacks, who despite leading the west by a couple of games, really aren't that great and certainly not worthy of making the playoffs with that collection of losers and mediocre talent. That of course, then makes the Dodgers a certified piece of shite, that despite all their experience and age, are looking up at the Dbacks.

So back to the 1 win. It was a dramatic win, however it came against a weak reliever, Randy Messenger, and it took a well placed bomb by Nomar to get it done. However the team is still mired in a wicked slump that has seen it go from first place to 3 back in the standings with the prospects of facing on of the NL's best pitchers, reigning Cy Young winner Brandon Webb, so it will be more like 4 games by the time Monday comes around. Great strategy Ned.

Bill Plaschke, LA Times columnest and ESPN regular, has apparently fallen in love with Ned, the former newspaper guy, and gave him a free pass after the trade deadline netted Scott Proctor. The big bat that was promissed and the starting pitcher that the team desperately needs never came, and Ned was given the keys to the city by Plaschke, and praised for not giving up on some of the prospects that could have netted Mark Teixeira and possibly that pitcher, like Joe Blanton from the A's or John Garland from the ChiSox. But, what is not done, is not done, and we are left with James Loney and Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier and Tony Abreu. Guys that have great upside, however are starting to play like prospects and not proven veteran hitters.

Am I complaining, you bet your sweet ass. I wanted to see that big bat. I wanted to see that solid arm that not only would have been an upgrade for this year, but would have stuck around for a few years. It isn't like Plaschke put it, that Ned did more by not doing anything, because what he has done in give up in a year when the National League was his to win, and quite possibly with home field advantage. The Dodgers could have had the best record in the NL had they picked up that bat, there is no doubt in my mind because the NL is weak, and hell, the Red Sox are going to win the World Series anyway, so just being there would have been enough for me.

This crap sandwich is over, the Dodgers are not going to win the west nor the wild card and are going to miss the playoffs, again, and that 1 win since 1988 is not in any danger of being upstaged.

Dodger DEAD Line

Well, it isn't like I didn't warn you. In making my monthly trek back to the blog with a little pent up spirit, here I was thinking that the Dodgers were going to be serious players in this trade deadline market. I clearly see, I was just as caught up in all the speculation leading up to the deadline, which, for lack or better words, turned out to be a turd for most.

What is funny is that all the apologists are out in force. Dodger and LA Times bloggers are running rampant spreading the company line, "Teixera was never really a viable option in LA, and the Dodgers were never really players in that chase." Sure, I guess all that young talent that Ned Colletti doesn't want to give up and that everyone raves about were worthless seeing as how the Rangers, who would dress a monkey with a glove if they could, didn't want any part of them.

In reality, what came down was Colletti losing his spirit and his trigger finger, which in this case was a liability and not a blessing. A package of James Loney, Tony Abreu/Andy LaRoche, and another quality prospect was reportedly shot down by the Rangers. Yeah right. More like the Dodgers didn't to part ways with unproven guys because of some "pressure" that may exist in the media. Loney is a nice player, don't get me wrong, but the best he is going to do is Mark Grace and not Fred McGriff. Abreu and LaRoche, yeah OK, more unproven light hitters that can't adapt to big league pitching.

So then, was it that these guys really have that much promise and cannot be given in a trade, or is that the Colletti PR machine has been spitting out half truths about the true abilities of their prospects. I mean, Atlanta gave up far less then what the Dodgers offered, yet they managed to land two of the biggest prizes of the market. You're telling me the Dodgers, with all that wealth of talent, couldn't match or beat a Brave offer that was reminiscent of the bag of baseballs and stiffs that went to San Diego for the afore mentioned McGriff? That's a down right steal, and it isn't that John Shurholtz, Braves' GM, is that savvy, on the contrary, his moves are pedestrian at best with only one World Championship to show for it, a title that he and Bobby Cox won by default as Mike Hardgrove and John Hart were just as mediocre.

There is no telling what is going to happen in these final two months, but the talking point making the rounds that the other teams in the NL didn't do anything so it isn't that bad is also flawed. Sure, they didn't make any moves, but you forget that Arizona still has some young arms and bats that are hot at the right time and the Friars still have that pitching staff. So no, it's not the same because those teams are still hanging around and the Dodgers have played their best ball. Derek Lowe is hurt, Brad Penny is running out of quality starts, and the back of our rotation is a who's who of dead arms and deader heads. No it doesn't look good and, to top it all off, f'n Barry is in town and we have to deal with his steroid inflated ego in our town.

Not So Happy Times

These two are smiling because they managed to pull the wool over our eyes, again. Not only has Frank "the Bank" McCourt managed to deliver us who bleed blue another lack luster season full of old stiffs that amount to another second or third place finish and, if we are lucky, a kick in the head come playoff time, but all the promises that were made about getting better throughout the season, and "doing what we have to win" have also slipped out the other side of these con artist's mouths.

It may be a bit much, and I admit that when it comes to the blue, I am less than objective, however it's pretty troubling that Mark Texiera is going to the Braves for an unproven player, a minor leaguer, and the perpetual "player to be named." It's not like the Braves had to give up Brian McCann or Jeff Francouer for one of the best hitters in the American League, just a guy that has unproven hitting talent. Hell, Matt Kemp and James Loney can not only hit, but are proven complimentary players and are young talent. Why not trade one of these guys for a proven masher? I mean God damnit, how many more Nomar at-bats do we have to live through to realize that his better years are long past.

And if that wasn't enough, word on the street is that Octavio Dotel is on his way to the Braves as well. I mean seriously, is Ned Colletti asleep at the wheel or what? Did he have emergency spleen surgery or was held captive by a band of terrorists some where? That is the only reason to be caught off guard this bad. Seriously, talk about getting caught with your pants down. Now, the Dodgers don't have the proven bat down the stretch or the reliever they most desperately needed. There may be more to come, but right now I'm freaking too pissed to write anymore.

UPDATE
The trade deadline is looming and it looks like Trader Ned isn't going to pull the trigger on anything meaningful except recycled garbage, Scott Proctor. Also, to make things a little worse, this was taken from today's LA Times: "The Dodgers announced that they have surpassed the 3.5-million mark in ticket sales, making this the third consecutive season and fifth time overall in which the team will draw 3.5 million fans."

Congratulations fans, you suckers got rope-a-doped again.

Don't Expect The World When It Comes To Becks

July 13 is quickly approaching, and that can only mean one thing. Yes, David Beckham makes his debut in Los Angeles among the legions of footie novices that will now, no doubt, be rabid fans of the world's game. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Will Smith, and all those other Hollywood and Vermont Avenue freaks will be out in force to cheer on their man.

Am I excited, sure. Rarely are we given the opportunity to see a person that transcends his sport and becomes the icon for a game throughout the entire world. However I think that both the media and the marginal fan are going to lose their love with this sport and Becks shortly after they sit though an entire 90 minutes and Becks doesn't score. This begs a primer.

Becks get lauded as a goal scorer, and the above video illustrates why he was become a house hold name through the years. Yes, no one can quite bend it like Beckham, however as a midfielder, Beckham isn't exactly Ronaldo when it comes to being a prolific scorer. As a person who's job it is to deliver service, or passes, to forward players, Beckham is only as good as his forwards are. In the case of the Galaxy, the two up top that will have the added burden of having to convert a great crossing pass into a goal will be little known Nate Jaqua and American all-time leading scorer Landon Donovan. Sure LanDo knows how to score, but his game is greatly limited by a lack of one-on-one abilities that differentiate players like him to other MLS forwards such as Taylor Twellman or Brian Ching, although their talents are somewhat suspect as well. Landon is a "catch it in stride and hope to beat the keeper off his line" type of forward that has trouble running at defenders or winning balls in the air, ah la Brian McBride.

Also, Becks isn't the most nifty of foot, so to expect him to hold the ball in the midfield is also going to be a big ask. Beck's dribbling abilities are pedestrian at best and the visions that many have of him taking a ball in the lower third, dribbling up field, and delivering a cross at the foot of his forwards are also far fetched. Not only is Becks not going to play the hold the ball and wait to create an opportunity, but he is going to look to pass as soon as the ball is at his feet, something that runs counter to out "hold the ball for the last shot" mentality.

So what the hell am I trying to say? Well, don't look for the Galaxy games to look like the exciting brand of football that is seen in Europe. At they end of the day MLS is a league fill of guys that couldn't make it in Europe and want to live by the beach. However, if you care to watch and learn, then you will see why the subtleties of Beckham's game is the reason why people love him, and not the tattoos, brilliant fashion sense, or wild hair styles. For those that notice, the nuance is what it is all about, the above goal not withstanding.

Time For This Sham To End

We don't agree on much, but ESPN Radio host Colin Cowherd and I can see eye to eye on the fact that grown "adults" that partake in the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) are nothing more then "booger eating losers who never grew up." Harsh, but true.

With the recent development that WWE performer Chris Benoit decided to murder his wife and seven year old son before hanging himself in his Georgia home, the ugly question which has plagued the WWE and other legitimate sports leagues has become front page news. I think that with the way the WWE is trying to spin Benoit's death, they are even more guilty of not only condoning the use to illegal substances, but also pushing the company's performers to using steroids and other controlled substances to be at the top of their "sport."

Monday night, as news was still coming out of Georgia of the Benoit family deaths, the face of the organization, and all around dickhead, Vince McMahon decided to pull his regularly scheduled Monday Night Raw show for a three hour tribute who had just murdered his wife and seven year old son. That was wife and SEVEN year old son. Did I mention he murdered his SEVEN year old son? Yeah, that guy, was given a three hour tribute so his fans could pay homage to a man that was such a coward in life he had take out his frustrations on his innocent family. Note to people who watched that broadcast, you people are the reason 40 percent of Americans still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11 and that there were weapons of mass destruction. You pathetic losers.

Not only did McMahon not apologize for highlighting the life and career of a family annihilator, but he issued a statement saying that the media was sensationalizing the story and making false claims that Benoit flipped out because he was on steroids. Ah Vince, steroids were found in his home and it's only a matter of time before the tox screen comes back positive for steroids and controlled substances. Yet, WWE lawyers are trying to spin this more than Ann Coulter at a trans gendered convention. Their latest salvo, the claim by WWE lawyer Jerry McDevitt that Benoit and his wife, Nancy, had been arguing over the past few weeks about their son, the very one that was murdered on Sunday morning, and his care. Benoit's son, Daniel, had a developmental disorder known as Fragile X Syndrome, "an inherited form of mental retardation often accompanied by autism," according to McDevitt. Benoit's schedule made it difficult for him to be home to care for the boy, and Nancy Benoit would argue with Chris about taking more time off to help with the kid.

A palpable excuse for what he did, this clearly is not. Benoit gets no sympathy for being an animal and a degenerate. However if this is the line of reasoning the WWE is putting out there, along with their claims that this was premeditated and not something caused by 'roid rage, then the WWE obviously learned from the Republican spin machine in Washington and are putting the blame squarely on the son. See, if we are to believe the WWE, then it was poor Daniel's fault he was disabled that caused his dad to flip out. In a classic game of blame the victim, the WWE would have you believe that the rock star lifestyle, along with the pharmacology degrees many learn on the wrestling circuit have nothing to do with why a maladjusted steroid abuser, who only knows and is rewarded for settling an issue with violence, as fake as it may be in the ring, could be left to his own devices and murder his family. Sure, and guns don't kill people, people kill people.

At the end of the day, what are we left with? Well, three dead people is one thing, not to mention the sick and twisted thoughts of a man in Benoit, who saw his son was physically and mentally challenged, and who's reported solution for the problem was to inject his son with steroids because he claimed Daniel was undersized. That, according to reports which indicate that the coroner discovered needle track marks on the seven year old's arms. And this is the man that deserves a three hour special retrospective, a man who not only found comfort for his family when he was strangling his bound wife, and held his son in a wrestling choke hold long enough to choke him to death. Again, WWE fans, you people are closely becoming the scum of humanity, and you douche bags illustrate, along with Vince McMahon and his ilk, exactly what is wrong with this country.

No Pain, No Gain

On a recent ESPN SportsCenter, all around show killer and resident valley low-life Joe Rogan, of the Fear Factor Rogan's, got into a verbal sparring match with boxing promoter Lou Dibella over the recent rise in popularity. Now I am not a fan of Dibella and his ilk, mainly his partner Don King, but I do agree with him and others in the boxing world like Bernard Hopkins that mixed martial arts (MMA) is nothing short of barbarism by another name, or "human cock fighting" as it was put by Dibella. This statement, to which Rogan responded with his usual ADHD response to everything he disagrees with.

There is no doubt that MMA is very popular with the WWE crowd, and the Spike TV show Ultimate Fighter has raked in the viewers with it's realistic tales of steroided out wannabe cage fighters that were abused as children or recovering from some addiction. I get that. What I don't get is how this brutal sport has the big guys like ESPN and Colin Cowherd obsessed enough to report match outcomes and have it's own weekly updated on Monday mornings. What's next, Arena Football League games on national television?

With regards to ESPN, it has decided pro bowling isn't enough and needs another niche sport to deliver content during the crucial 9:00 AM - 4:00 PM time period during the week. I can just see it now, MMA Tonight with Rogan and Randy Couture immediately following the three show mini poker marathon and dance cheerleading championships. After a couple of shows it will probably be able to lead into Rome is Burning. ESPN, desperate to fill the time spot left vacant by Quite Frankly with Stephan A. Smith, will finally give it the 2:30 PM eastern slot. Colin Cowherd will have his Daily Football Fix section augmented with MMA analysis by Chuck Liddell, and ESPNews will surely give us the Beatdown immediately following the Blitz.

Of course all this is said in jest, however the sudden acceptance of what at one time amounted to the thunderdome, 2 man enter - one man leaves, is extremely disturbing in these times. Violence and the portrayal of violence is on the incline, TV is bombarded with shows looking to push the envelope by depicting more portrayals of murders, rape, and aggravated assault. Hey, don't get me wrong, I loved it when Joey Pants got what was coming to him from Tony Soprano and Christopher Moltasanti. However it is a bit disturbing when a guy puts another guy's mouth on a step and proceeds to go American History X on him with a swift curbing depiction, as seen on the afore mentioned television drama. Not very Kosher when teeth go flying all over place.

We are however living in a time when there is actually a debate about whether or not Michael Vick, Atlanta Falcon quarterback, should be suspended, arrested, or just forgiven for his involvement in a dog fighting ring. Not only did he own the house where his thuged out relatives raised and mistreated dogs for fighting, but recent reports have him as actually participating in the fights by organizing matches, watching fights, and placing bets on winners. Apparently it wasn't enough for Vick to be brain dead on the field, he actually had to be a bigger idiot off.

So Rogan not withstanding, I just don't get this latest fad in sports. MMA today is just like the situation a few years ago when everyone became a Texas Hold 'Em expert after Chris Moneymaker won the World Series of Poker. Access to this niche sport has made it easy for the average moron to try to get into the arena. In a way, I support these mouth breathers' decisions to get their ass kicked on a regular basis. Why couldn't we place video cameras and watch in demand video of the office "martial artist," yes that means you C.T., getting another appendage broken by some meathead. Talk about entertaining, that's right up there with drunk chair throwing at the local mexican styled bar. I digress, but the point remains. What was the F'n point again?

Not Lovable, Just Plain Old Losers

With their yearly visit to Dodger Stadium, the Chicago Cubs bring with them their throngs of loyal fans, yes the same one's that love teeth scrappings, elective surgery, having dinner with their mother-in-laws, and drinking milk on really hot days. The same person who enjoys a good kick in the balls every now and then is the same one that loves their Cubs, and their eighty some odd years of futility that has left them with the title of "lovable losers."

Now, I don't mind fans coming out and cheering on their team, hell I love watching the unknowing Giant fan walk into the left field pavilion only to get pelted by hot dog bits, soda, cracker jacks, and random cat calls that equate to a spanish form of derogatory word for homosexual. What I do take issue with is when Cub fan comes out of the woodwork to pollute the pristine seats at the Revine. These people seem to really enjoy being the but of jokes, the guy who everyone laughs at not with, and that is always on the business end of a punch to the face. Tonight was no expection.

As the Cubs began their comback, massive cheers enveloped the stadium. Yes, Cub fan was finally woken from their slumber and had something to cheer about. What transpired was the pathetic display of bravado that is more fitting of a Yankee fan, or someone that has actually tasted victory in say the past 50 years or so. Waves of fans stood and cheered loudly as if the team had just won the world series, wait that is a wrong analoy seeing as how the only Cub fans that have fist hand knowledge of that statement are probably dead by now.

Now, looking onto the crowd, the majority looked like these idiots that love cheering teams that have cool uniforms or mystic, like the Oxnard Dallas Cowboy fan or the Glendale City College dropout Miami Hurricane fan. In other words, the guy who has never been to Chicago and claims it for whatever stupid reason. The other half looked transplants, the one's who hate the weather but love their Cubs. These people were probably the same that rooted on their hated White Sox in 2005 because "we are all Chicagoians." Right, and the Angels are actually from Anaheim.

To the Cub fan that has never lived, been to, or sat at Wrigley field in their life, crawl back into your rock and leave the stadium to the loyalists Dodger fan that want to sit through another display of poor plate disipline and lack of power. You guys make me sick, and you remind me of some of the biggest tools in the world.

Hey Cub fan, long live Bartman, huh!

POSTSCRIPT

Well, despite trying their best to win, the Cubs managed to lose another heart braker that is leading Sweet Lou Pinella to an early grave. Seven straight runs in the seventh inning by the Cubs could not hold up as the Cub bullpen imploded on itself for 4 staight in the eight and the eventual 9-8 win. And yes, those Cub fans that cheered so loudly earlier in the game were hanging their heads and crying in their beer. Pitching and Cubs don't mix, it's a fact. Go ask Kerry Wood and Mark Prior.

When In Doubt, Point The Finger In Another Direction

The St. Louis Cardinals and the baseball world was shocked when it learned that another of its promising family members died earlier last month. Josh Hancock, Cardinal reliever, was driving home after a long night of partying at a St. Louis restaurant bar and smashed into a tow truck that was assisting a stalled motorist on April 28. As baseball mourned the death of a promising athlete, mandates were given to all major league clubs to look into their post game alcohol policies.

Now we get word that Hancock's father, Dean, is filing suit against the Restaurant, Shannons', the tow truck driver, and the driver of the stalled vehicle, in an attempt to recoup some damages from the accident. Not only does this reek of something awful, but in this new era of never taking responsibility for one's actions, it seems all too typical.

In what adds up to another reach, Hancock's family is claiming Shannon's management and employees are liable because they failed to cut off the pitcher throughout his 3 1/2 hour drinking binge in the restaurant. Furthermore, Dean Hancock would have you believe that his son was not offered a cab, and was probably forced into his SUV and made to drive home under the influence. As if that wasn't enough, the elder Hancock would have us believe that it was the motorist's fault he got cut off earlier in the evening, spun out of control and became stalled in the right lane needing the assistance of a tow truck, that stopped to help out the motorists. The motorist and tow truck driver should pay out of their noses because had they not been there in that situation, Josh Hancock would have been able to drive through the area completely unimpeded and still under the influence. What a crock of s**t.

Truth is, Dean Hancock should come to the harsh realization that his son was an alcoholic degenerate, who got in his SUV and probably didn't care about anything other than his booze and the ounce of weed the cops found in his car. How about being a man and facing the fact that your son was an idiot, an alcoholic drug addict that thought he was above it all because he was pitching in the big leagues? What a disgrace, next you'll try to tell us that MLB is to blame because they are the one's who scheduled a day game. Give me a break.

This latest incident in the tragedy only goes to show that despite all the best laid plans of mice and men, people are still looking to pin the blame on any sucker they can find. Hancock's reckless attitude towards life in general was well documented, this wasn't the first time he had gotten blitz and driven home. Yet it's the motorist's fault he needed help, and the tow truck company's fault for helping him out. How about Josh's fault, where does that play into the equation? How about if he has all his senses, he doesn't need to get in his car, he can call a cab. How about if Josh has all his senses, he is able to see tow truck lights and the emergency lights of the stranded vehicle and is able to move to another lane and safely pass the scene? How about you just, Dean, accept the fact that your son was an immature baseball player, who thought that he was bigger than life, and paid the ultimate price for his errors?

In the end, there are no winners when it comes to this tragic ending for a promising young player. Instead of defending their world title, the Cardinals are trying to limp through the season picking up the pieces. Instead of celebrating a life posthumously, Dean Hancock prefers dishonoring himself and his family and not face reality.

Champions' League?

Every time I try to love soccer, the "World's Game," I get stuck by another crapper like the Champion's League final. For those of you that don't partake in the footballian arts, let me explain. Imagine the NCAA basketball tournament, only with multimillionaires and you can't use your hands. In any case, Champion's League pins the best teams from every European country in a winner take all tournament to cap off the UEFA (United European Football Association) season.

The problem with the tournament this year is two fold; first, the two teams to meet up in the finals this year are no where near winning their respective leagues, hardly the stuff of champions. Second, AC Milan was allowed to participate, and here is where the situation gets a bit dicey.

During last summer's World Cup, the big talk after Italy won the trophy by default was how the victory was going to lift the spirits of Serie A fans who's teams were facing reprimands for fixing matches. Now, in the USA, that kind of stuff is frowned upon, and guys like Pete Rose pay the ultimate prize for being degenerates and all around bad guys. In Italy and other European countries, it seems to be par for the course. Among the teams that got slapped with a "sanction" was AC Milan, who was deducted points for their parts in the scandal. The hardest hit club was Juventus of Turin, who were relegated to the lower division and caste into obscurity.

Now, here is a classic example of why politics is more important to Sepp Blatter, FIFA dictator, and UEFA. AC Milan was found to be eligible for the tournament despite them being reprimanded in their home league and deducted points. Imagine UCLA being found guilty of violating NCAA rules and their games forfeited and win total deducted by the PAC 10 on the verge the NCAA tournament, and still being allowed to participate and win the whole thing. That would be a royal cluster F*%K and the NCAA would lose all credibility in it's tournament. FIFA seems to not care about doing what is right, only selling out San Siro, Milan's home stadium, and racking in billions in revenue from fanatical Milan fans that probably have never been out of their respective countries, let alone actually touched down in Milan.

This then leaves the marginal foosball fan with a sour taste in his mouth. A team that had copped to being a band of dirty bastards is allowed to not only participate, but actually win the crown jewel of European club soccer. What's next, fixing the world rankings as to make a team seem better then they actually are and sticking them in one of the toughest groups at the World Cup, no wait, that happened to the USA last year. Oh I know, letting a third world nation like South Africa, a country that can't afford to treat millions of poverty and disease ridden citizens, let alone pay back World Bank loans, win the bid for the next World Cup thus committing it to spending billions towards state of the art stadiums instead of healthcare and education. No, that seemed to have happen as well.

So, the football fan should take in this final, and should celebrate the victors. We seem to celebrate mediocrity and deceitfulness a lot these days.

OK, Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Program

Enough of sports that pass the time from football season to baseball season. I know baseball season officially started last week, however this blog's season starts after the Dodger home opener, one that featured the dreaded failure of Lon Rosenburg's brain child, ten dollar cups of cheap beer, a cheering section that reminded me of a walk I took down Boyle Heights, and a loss to mediocre Rockie ball club. But hey, the tickets were free and the kid enjoyed himself, so what more can I ask for?

All these two bit hacks that suggest Jason Schmidt is a shell of what he used to be are full of crap. He made his mistakes, however the shot that Garret Atkins hit in the first was a good fastball, clocked at 82 but really more like 89, that Atkins turned on and smacked out of the park. Some Yahoo! Sports "analysts" make the claim that Atkins could have caught that ball with his bare hands and tossed it back to the pitcher like Jack Parkman did to Rick Vaughn in Major League 2. All I have to say to an unnamed writer, Tim Brown, is when have you ever tried to hit big league pitching? Atkins could have caught that with his bare hands had he wanted to shatter his hand.

One thing that is painstakingly clear is that this club has no home run threat. Matt Kemp may be it, however he can't play right field, as witnessed by his face meeting the wall incident in the fifth. James Loney, the team's best hitter in spring training is down in AAA, they could sure use that bat right about now as the team once again made a mediocre Jeff Francis look like a Cy Young candidate. One digression, I hate it when pitchers strike out a batter to end the inning and walk off the field like someone just pinched them in the taint, walk off like a normal human being Jeff and get the hell in the dug out.

That's all I got for now, Schmidy will be back, only a leg cramp, but Matt Kemp looks like he could use some time off after smacking into that wall like an AFL player. That was nasty and it sounded like that time when you were a kid and you get pushed into the aluminum trash cans and, any one? Anyone? No? OK, but in any case, it was bad and hopefully he is able to come back without the need of a shoulder or backiotomy.

The parking situation didn't help matters either. Getting in was not a problem, however I knew I was in for a rough time when I entered the lot and began follow a long line of cars into an area of the stadium I never even knew existed. Needless to say, they don't call lot 15 "the hole" for nothing. The place reminded me of the yard at San Quentin from the movie American Me, and all the "esses" and "homeboys" made the walk to the stadium a bit of the adventure for my party and the kid. Needless to say, the "ear muffs" rule went out the window for the day. This new parking system isn't worth the paper they signed Lon Rosenburg's contract on, and here is hoping the VP of Customer Experience gets canned ASAP.

In any case, the game was blast and everyone enjoyed themselves that of course is the reason we all go. Never mind the game, if the Dodgers win it's a bonus, but you really go to hang out with friends and family and take in the entire pomp and circumstance. With that said, they better win tonight, because from this point forward, it's all about the game.

More Ridiculous Hockey Videos

In the ever growing list of why the NHL is becoming increasingly unwatchable, I submit for your consideration a video of Islander "tough guy" Chris Simon, who apparently thinks graphite shaft on face makes for a pleasant experience.

I Went to a Boxing Match, and a Hockey Game Broke Out

This video illustrates why the NHL can never really shake the image of on ice goon squads and is definitely a niche sport.

Becks Hams It Up

So by now all the really annoying office know-it-alls have exclaimed about how David Beckham is coming to America, more importantly, coming to the greater Los Angeles Area. Just what this city needed, another prissy bastard with a superiority complex.

I am a big Beckham guy, when he is delivering quality service balls to Ryan Giggs or Teddy Sheringham. Since his departure from Old Trafford, he has gone without winning one major trophy with Real Madrid and has contributed to more bench time then actual pitch time. But hey, he looks pretty.

I fear that this is just another Carlos Hermosillo move, bringing in a big time name soccer star that ends up flaming out and collecting a paycheck. I hope that it isn't the Hermosillo model and more the Hristo Stoichkov model with the Chicago Fire, where a player in the downside of his career was able to come in and play serious minutes making the Fire one of the better and more stable franchises in the MLS. Stoichkov had a brilliant playing career in Europe and actually won titles with Barcelona, however he didn't have the face for the American media. In any case, the MLS has made it a habit of signing guys with big name value, but little left in the tank.

Is Becks washed up, well he is injury prone and the "Galacticos" declined to resign him or even offer a new contract for a reason. Since the World Cup he has garnered more attention for having his captaincy with the FA taken away and his subsequent departure from the national team. Again, there was a reason Steve McClarren took the armband away and didn't make a big fuss when Becks left the squad.

So the future for the MLS looks somewhat brighter. They have proven that given the right circumstances, they can go out and sign a guy with name value. Is Ronaldo to the Red Bulls next? That has yet to be determined due to the influx of money being pumped into world soccer by Dubai and the United Arad Emirates, two countries that have made it "business as usual" employing the Gabriel Batistutas and Rivaldos of the world. In any case, the MLS has their franchise guy to go along with another guy, Landon Donovan, that needs to be the poster boy for American soccer. Surely the move is seen as a positive for Donovan, who needs a swift kick in the arse after his rotten egg at the 2006 World Cup.

However the Galaxy and the MLS risk re-opening pandora's box. They can end up with a guy with little left in the tank that collects paychecks for a living, something that they desperately tried to get away from after the countless number of disasters in league signing history. "El Matador" anyone? This would do a lot to stop the growth of young, promissing American soccer talent that this league was supposed to showcase. As it is, the league already has shipped out some of the better American talent to Europe. That is of course the point of the league and American Soccer has come a long way from John Harkes and Alexi Lalas. However the MLS is in that critial period where it has to land some credibility on the world stage if it is going to ultimately survive. American soccer settled with the appointment of Bob Bradley as US national coach and failed miserably in trying to legitimise the program with a big name like Jurgen Klinnsman. So that gauntlet has been dropped and this move must bring some legitimacy to the MLS and American soccer or come 2010 no one will really care about US soccer and the development of the program.

Will I go watch? Perhaps. I mean, it is going to be a circus for the first few months when he is around and games will probably be sold out. As people realize that the product on the field is still soccer, the true hard core fans will remain, and I will be there supporting my guy Sasha and company with the thousand or so fans that frequent the Home Depot Center. Besides, I really don't feel like being part of that whole Scientology Revival the first couple of months as all of Becks' Hollywood friends like Tom Cruise and Will Smith make the Galaxy games the new "sports" experience.

Life is Complete Again!!!

From Tom Hoffarth's Blog:

-- Official word finally came out that, at last, Petros Papadakis will return to the L.A. sports-talk airwaves, teamming up with Matt "Money" Smith in the KLAC-AM (570) afternoon drive 4-7 p.m. slot starting this Monday. Papadakis, who left 1540-AM a few months back after starting his radio career and picking up a No. 1 ranking in our 2006 Best/Worst of L.A. Media poll for sports-talk hosts, had been rumored to be going to 570 for some time now, but nothing could be said until the contracts were worked out. The announcement was finally made Friday after station program director Don Martin gives Joe Grande and Wayne Cook the standard "we're going in a new direction" speech. “Right now the crazy thing is I haven't worked on the radio in three months so I've got so many things built up in my brain that my head is about to explode," Papadakis said. Smith added: "Of all the talented people I’ve had the privilege to work with, I say with great certainty Petros is right at the top. His passion, creative genius and unique perspective on not just sports, but all talking points is a refreshing change from what this city was accustomed.“ Daily News USC beat writer Scott Wolf, a regular on Papadakis' 1540 show, has already posted a blog item on this. The 570-AM website has already taken down the bios of Cook and Grande from the "Good Times" show promos.

The news comes as KSPN-AM (710) went ahead and hired Kevin Kiley to babysit D'Marco Farr on the 1-3 p.m. slot., starting Tuesday, Jan.16. Good luck with that one. Kiley has assignments as an NFL sideline reporter for Westwood One coverage of the NFL playoffs for the time being and is willing to relocate to L.A. since he has a kid attending UCLA. Will the show get better? At least Killey will challenge Farr on all his half-baked ideas about what makes the sports world go around. And on NFL picks, we're guessing Kiley would at least win against a dog.Knowing these two hirings were on the way, we decided to hold off the release of the 2007 Best/Worst of L.A. Media series until February to give these guys a chance to settle in and work their way into the Top 10 list, where they belong.

New Year Round Up

Rose Bowl
Vegas listed the line as Michigan -3, I think a lot of people lost their parlay on that one. Michigan apparently forgot that New Year's was a time to show the world what your squad is made of, you bring out the best and you try to prove the fans and voters that you belong. In Michigan's case, it was also a chance for them to prove that their BCS title game snub was a mistake. Had they brought the house to the Trojans and completely dominated their PAC 10 opponents, they could have made a legitimate argument that they should have been included in the BCS party. After further review, the call stands.

Michigan was completely overwhelmed by Pete Carrol and the fellas, got dominated like they had been last season, when the Maize and Blue lost 7 games including a pre-New Year, who cares bowl. With it, the onced hyped and celebrated Woverine team that had only lost once all season, a thriller to rival Ohio State, has reopened the question everyone wants answered, is Lloyd Carr history?

After an uneventful first half, the Trojans went three and out on what looked like really bad play calling. Lane Kiffen and Steve Sarkesian called ISO right with Chauncy Washington that resulted in a loss of yardage and a fourth down. That is when Pete Carrol decided enough was enough. A Lawrence Jackson interception at mid field, and the Trojans decided the antiquated running game was done and over with. An offensive onslaught insued with John David Booty picking appart the Michigan secondary on what seemed like easy pitch and catches to Dwayne Jarrett and Steve Smith.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said about the Woverines. Their desire to stick with the run resulted in digging themselves a huge whole in the third quarter that they could not get themselves out of. Mike Hart was useless, and the offensive line was being overmatched by a quicker defensive squad that often times met Hart or Chad Henne in the backfield. It got to a point where the best defender for USC was the clock in Henne's head that made him hear the foot steps and feel the pressure and release the ball early, underthrowing his wide open recievers.

What was left was a game that lacked any real interest, despite the touchdown strikes Michigan had in garbage time. With the game all but wrapped up, the only thing Bob Davie and "Mush Mouth" Brent Mussberger could zero in on was Dwayne Jarrett's taunting display toward the Michigan secondary. I guess they didn't watch the first half when the Michigan corners got away with holds and illegal contact down field, or when Michigan safeties would stand over Jarrett and Smith after they broke up a play and flap their gums. I think pointing at a guy and handing him the football pales in comparison to some of the crap Michigan was trying to pull. It's not DJ's fault the Wolverine secondary is slower and softer then they think they are.

So, officially the UCLA loss was a fluke, and the Bruins never won that game, they Trojans lost it. UCLA's blow out loss to a down Florida State in another preseason, whatever bowl that has come to be the symbol of the Karl Dorrell era is proof of that. With that said, the preseason hype will be much deserved, USC will be the preseason number, end of story. A distant second will be Michigan.

Fiesta Bowl
The only thought I have to say about what Boise State did to Oklahoma is to display my disgust for the officiating crew. If the NCAA wants OU to win so badly to make this "mid-major" argument go away then they should have just named the Sooners Fiesta Bowl champs. A phantom pass interference call on an uncatchable pass set up the tying touchdown for the Sooners, who would have won the game had Jared Zabrinsky not been a real "G" and led his squad down the field. A couple of trick plays later, and the Broncos pull off the "annexation of Puerto Rico" play win. God bless the WAC, Mountain West, WCC, and all mid majors everywhere.

By the way, how far has Bob Stoops fallen when he is cheering a game tying two point conversion like he just won the Super Bowl and gets out classed by a first year WAC coach. I guess the Big 12 isn't what it used to be anymore.